The Way That I Am
by MaraJade2017
Summary: They both had reputations of being brutal, violent and calculating but had never met until one day Athena helps Eric take on three enemies and they recognize each other what for they are. Can two wounded and similar people overcome their pasts and natures and make the kind of life together they never dreamed of trying for? DELETING ACCT lunaschild2016 to follow
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This will be an Eric/OC story. It will be in the Washington state areas of Seattle and the smaller surrounding communities. Because I am obsessed with that area mainly but also having access to such fertile ground, the mountains and the forests sounds like a perfect place for humanity to try and set up a refuge.**

 **The choosing age is 18 at this time but four years prior leaders from Erudite along with one from Abnegation and Candor were in on an attempt to overthrow the entire government in all factions. There wasn't an outright war but there were losses of life in the factionless and Dauntless. This starts out with the year Eric chooses with the OC and Tris' group the following year.**

 **Because of the shake up in the government things are done differently for the dependents to prepare. There are no overt mentions of divergents or that was the sole purpose of the Erudite experiments, it is hinted at but there is more to it. This will be M and there will be some smut but it is also story not just straight up smut all the time.**

 **Hope you enjoy! Disclaimer: V Roth owns Eric, I just like playing with him and his knives.**

The sounds of scuffling feet and the 'oompf' of something being punched drew me around the corner and fast. I saw them then, the three Candor boys that looked to be at their choosing age ganging up on the dark blonde haired Erudite boy, and from the looks of him he was holding his own. Until one of the boys picks up a piece of wood and all I saw was red.

I dropped my bag and picked up the pipe next to me and charged. "Fucking coward ass bastards." I said as I swung at the knee cap of the one about to swing a nail studded board at the lone Erudite. I heard the crunch of bone then his screams and I grinned.

I could have used the pipe again but I preferred my fists and feet. I said as much. "I could so fucking kill you right now with this, but unlike you I am not a fucking coward." I say as I launch into a spin kick and connect to his face and he falls forward out cold.

The Erudite throws me a smirk and then continues to pummel one guy while the other weighs his options. He looks between the two of us and I see he is going to bolt for it.

I let a feral little grin cross my face and I launch myself at him. I pin him with my knees to his upper area with my upper body bent back to prevent him from going anywhere. "Oh no you don't fucker. I think you're staying right fucking here."

"Let me go you fucking Erudite whore." He hisses at me.

I give a chortle while I smirk. "You know what they say...sticks and stones..." I grab his hand and give a sickening twist "...but only I fucking break bones. Now get the fuck out of here before I break you in half."

I leap up with my chest heaving with adrenaline as the guy writhing in pain pulls himself up and runs like a little bitch.

The other two are knocked out cold and my fellow Erudite is leaning against the wall catching his breath with his nose held back. I notice it is bleeding pretty badly so I rip a part of my navy shirt off and walk over to him.

His steel grey eyes whip to mine and lock on me, his eyebrow quirked.

"To stop the blood flow." I say as I wad the cloth up and squint as I grab his head and bring it down to look at me. He is a good bit taller than me and pretty built. Even with the blood and the bruising I can tell he is handsome. I press the cloth to him and he tilts his head back again.

"Thanks." His voice match his eyes and are like steel but is deep and rich.

"You're welcome. Looked like you had them except for the coward pulling that dick move." I look around for my bag and find it. I go and open it up to pull out the bottle I had been in the middle of sneaking off with to my favorite spot to read and get away from the prickish people of my faction. I hold it out to him and I see his eyebrow go into his hairline and he chuckles.

"Ok then. Where the fuck have you been the whole time I have been in that hell hole?" He asks as he takes the bottle of scotch I swiped from mom's sisters' and tips it back.

I laugh with a smile and let my dimples show. "Hiding and as fucking far away from that hell hole as I can get."

I watch as he swallows and wonder how he can smirk and drink at the same time. He takes a bit and swishes it around in his mouth and then spits it out to get the blood from his split lip out. He hands the bottle back to me. I tip it back and drink before I cap it and stuff it back in my bag.

"Well, I hate to fuck up a few punks and run. But I kind of have an appointment with this bottle, a perfect night sky and damn good book." I say looking around at the carnage of my outfit. Which admittedly is not proper Erudite clothing. Midnight blue leather jacket, tank, tight pants and black combat boots. It isn't in bad condition and not like I care anyways.

I look back at him and frown. "You going to be ok?"

He rolls his eyes and nods. "Yeah, I think I will be fine. The name is Eric by the way. Eric Coulter."

I smile and take the hand he offered me, shaking it. I hear his intake of breath at the same time as I have one and the electrical charge that courses through my body as our skin touched. I scowled at our hands like they were offensive to me but didn't let go. I noticed him doing the same thing but he doesn't move to let go either.

His still grey/blue eyes meet mine and darken a bit. My emerald eyes hold his for a moment and I smile with a blush "Athena...she named me Athena. Because of course she fucking would. Athena Matthews."

I saw his scowl turn into a smirk and he pulls me closer. I have second to register his intention before his lips crash to mine and the warmth of his lips meld to mine. His hand moves to my waist pulling me against him as he slips his tongue into my mouth and I moan at the feel of him there and against me. I hear a growl and a rumble from beneath my hand on his chest.

Groans from the two Candors on the ground bring us from the kiss and we pull back panting. He looks to them with a frown and then back to me. "I want to see you again." His tone is commanding. As if he doesn't expect any argument and won't take any.

I frown in thought. He is obviously choosing in a few months. Do I really want to start my first ever anything with someone that will just be gone? Maybe it would be good for me and I have never felt...whatever it was I just felt.

"When?" I ask before I can fully think things through.

"Now, tomorrow...everyday until choosing." His tone is serious as his forehead scrunches up.

I take him in one more time, not at his looks which are handsome and built for an at least almost or currently 18 year old. But looking into his eyes for his intentions. I have been very careful of who I get close to because of the shit my mom pulled.

He must have read that because he shakes his head. "I don't blame kids for the shit their parents did Thena. My parent's weren't angels in that whole mess."

After a beat I nod and smile, liking his nickname for me for some reason. "Then you can come with me if you want."

He nods with a slow smile spreading across his face. He picks up his own bag and then takes my hand. As we are walking off he kicks one of the guys, the one that had the board with the nails, in his side and then steps over him.

I chuckle and let a wicked grin cross my face that he matches.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing besides my OC's and plot**

 **Chapter 2**

The night before the choosing ceremony and I am back in my secret spot. In the Erudite sector a bio-dome was built within the dense forest of the outskirts of the sector. Complete with flora, a tall waterfall and lush greenery, it was created for the exotic flowers and fish that Erudite love to have on hand. It is almost rainforest temperature year round. Which makes it perfect for the Pacific Northwest weather and to escape from it and everything else. I found this spot years ago and it quickly became my spot to get away from my mother. I almost feel like I am in another world here and can let the shit from my real world go for a little while.

Right now I am laying on my blanket on my stomach, my head on my crossed arms and thinking. Tomorrow Eric will be choosing and I had known from the second I saw him taking on three boys his own size if not bigger where he would be going. Dauntless.

I took a risk in getting close to him and while I don't regret it exactly I am not pleased with the feeling I have right now. The feeling of impending hurt and loss. I had done so well to distance myself from all of that when my mother, Jeanine Matthews and several other leaders of Erudite as well as one from Abnegation and Candor each, had been found guilty of horrible things.

I had never had love for her and she had no qualms about doing those things to me. Just having her name made it difficult to get away from her sins. It also didn't help I had known I wouldn't be staying here either.

I hear movement in the foliage and see the outline of Eric in the moonlight, it was shining in from the clear temperature controlled glass dome. He makes his way quickly over to me and drops a bag and then lays himself down and gathers me to him. We don't speak as he takes my mouth in a fierce kiss that is desperate and full of what his heart must be feeling too, heartbreak.

It was a shock to us both how much we came to care for each other and how fast. We were both outcasts by design and by force in our faction. At the same time we were both brilliant and hid that, also by design. We knew we would be going to the home of our fathers', before they had transferred to Erudite, long before we were ten. We have also both been training for that since shortly after that age.

We had so many similarities but just enough differences to challenge each other and piss each other off too. We didn't back down from sparring with each other in words or physically but had yet to become so angry we lost it with each other. What we found in each other deepened hard and fast and we both sort of hated it while holding onto it desperately. He had meant it about seeing me everyday before choosing and it was hard to think that was going away.

He pulls away from the kiss but doesn't go far. I am on my back with my arms wrapped around his neck while he hovers over me. He is looking down on me with his steel grey/blue eyes that are more blue now. I have learned this means he is thinking deeply, sad, or happy.

He moves a hand to tangle in my curly auburn hair and he sighs. "Was this a mistake Thena? Getting involved like this? Because I have to be honest...the thought of leaving you is killing me and that pisses me off." He says through a clenched jaw.

I smile sadly knowing exactly how he is feeling. "I didn't exactly plan it either Eric, but I don't regret it. That all of my firsts weren't with just some random punk….."

He shuts me up by kissing me and growling. Letting me know he didn't want to hear about me with someone else. I couldn't blame him. The thought of him with those girls in Dauntless had been driving me crazy.

Later as our bodies are spent and tangled together he pulls the blanket over us. We plan to spend the night together here in the place where we spent our first night together. His last night before he leaves for his new home. His arm is wrapped around my waist and his short fingernails run up and down my back, in slow and delicate strokes.

"It's only a year Thena. We can make it a year. I will try and visit after initiation. Even if I have to sneak in your window once a week." Eric promises softly.

I nod and swallow, not allowing myself to even think about crying. I don't respond though because if I do I will break and cry. I don't cry and that I feel like I am going to pisses me off.

"Athena…" his voice breaks slightly and I look at him. "I have never said this or wanted to say it to anyone. But I love you. I want to keep my promise Thena."

My eyes fill despite my desire for them not to and my voice is a bare whisper "I love you too Eric. I want you to keep it too, but…" I stop saying that somehow I know he won't.

He nods in understanding with a frown and I can tell he is feeling self-loathing for his nature. It isn't that he doesn't and he won't care, he does. I believe he loves me. Eric is also driven and focused and one track minded and becoming a leader in Dauntless is all he has worked for. He wants to make sure what was attempted four years ago can never happen again. He has goals and he can't have distractions to make them happen. I am a distraction and he will fight the urge to see me with all he has.

"Did you bring the sketches with you Athena?" His voice is deep, telling me he is fighting himself about something.

I sigh and nod. "Eric we don't have to do this."

He growls and pulls me closer "I may be an asshole and a huge dick Athena. I know I am going to change when I get there and that I will have to. But I will never not want this or you. You are mine Athena and you better fucking remember that. I want you to know I will remember it too, that I am yours."

In an answer I pull him to me for a kiss. We deepen it until we pull back panting.

"Ok Eric. You just better fucking remember that you are mine too." I growl and he smirks at me before he nods and sits up then grabs the bag he dropped and my bag beside me.

Recently a new tattoo printer was made by Erudite and Eric had worked on the project as one of the many he was doing in his last year for transfer preparation. Because of that he was able to get one for his own use, but he hadn't wanted to...until now. The 'printer' is a teched out gel pad with millions of tiny needles with programming that transmits the image wirelessly from a scanner or tablet app to it and it prints the image to the flesh. It is perfect for our uses because it has different sizes and can wrap around for a seamless design.

For now though we are doing simple tribal art design type thin bands in white around the normal ring finger for a married couple. Eric was determined that we be as man and wife even if he would be going away. After he loaded the images into the printer, his thicker in design than mine, he placed the pad around my finger then had me do the same for him. He set the machine to do the tattoo and claimed my mouth in a kiss as it began to seal what he said is an actual marriage by Dauntless standards. It takes a total of five minutes to complete. When it does he breaks the kiss, removes the pad from us both and applies the healing cream he got to use.

I can feel he is hard for me again as I had been sitting in his lap while we got the tattoos. Our eyes holding each others I slide over him and we rock together. Clutching onto one another until we come undone calling each others names. There by the waterfall and under the light of the full moon I married Eric Coulter in mind and body, but in Dauntless style.

The next morning we shared small kisses before he left to get ready for his day. He had left me a bag but told me not to open it before he left. I laid in what was now our secret spot for some time before I then grabbed my bags and made my way home.

I lived on my own after the death of my father by my mother and then her own arrest and execution. My Aunt was less than pleased but she was also cold and reminded me too much of my mother so I had gotten emancipated. It was a top floor apartment with a rooftop garden in a five story building. The floor below me was taken by another Erudite orphan by the name of Zander. He and I hardly spoke but he was in my same year and I often saw him running around and training at the school approved competitions or physical fitness classes. Despite our similar situations I had never thought to try and make friends with him. I had been content to be on my own. I passed him on the way up to my apartment and he looked at me strangely as I passed.

"Are you ok Athena?" He asked in a soft but deep voice. I stopped in surprise because I don't think I had ever heard him speak before.

I smile and nod. "Yes, just a long night. Have a good day Zander."

He quirked an eyebrow in a way that let me know he didn't believe me. "Are you going to the ceremony today?"

I sigh and think if I could handle it, seeing him walk away. But I am not a coward and not doing it would piss us both off and hurt him. "Yes, I probably should."

Zander nods and then with a wave to me goes about his day.

I shower and eat numbly, then dress appropriately. I will be heading out for The Hub and to see Eric for what I am sure will be the last time, until I go to Dauntless, as he crosses the stage.

The bag he left has the tattoo printing machine, some books we both found we loved, pictures of us together, a few of his shirts for me to wear and two things at the bottom of the bag that take me by surprise. One is a box containing a ring of a thin silver band with a square cut emerald and two small diamonds on either side, and the other is a 9mm with two mags of ammunition.

He left a note with it as well.

 _The books are to read before you sleep and dream that I am there with you. The pictures so you do not forget how we are together. The shirts are to help you feel I am there wrapping you in my arms. The ring is to wear to let everyone else know you are mine. The gun is to make sure you make it home to me safely._

 _You are mine Athena. I will come for you and if not when you come to me I will make sure to remind you of it again._

Slipping the ring on, I pushed the gun under my mattress and then left for the ceremony. I loathe the button up blouse, skirt and heels I have to wear, and my hair in it's bun. I look around and feel revulsion in those around me and their willingness to conform so easily. A year seems too long to remain here and it will be colder without him.

His eyes went immediately to find me as I walked in. I saw his eyes fill with relief at me being there and then longing. His eyes then immediately went to my hand and he smirked when he saw the ring. When he crossed the stage and cut his hand he again locked those intense steel grey eyes with me as he squeezed his hand and let the blood hit the coals. A slow wicked grin crossed both of our faces as he made his way to his section. He mouthed the word 'mine' before I nodded and mouthed 'yours' and he was swept into the sea of black.

I swallowed and watched the rest of the ceremony without really caring about any of it. Then sat a bit longer than necessary as everyone filed out. That night I slept with his shirt on with his pictures framed and on my dresser.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing but my OC's and plot**

 **Chapter 3**

The knock on my door was loud and annoying and could only mean it was one person. I groggily opened the door and looked at the person that dared to knock before my coffee was in my system.

"For fucks sake Zander, you are early again. I thought I told you to wait until I get the coffee in me to be that annoying." I growled and left the door open and shuffled back to the kitchen to pour myself my large cup of coffee.

Zander walked into the kitchen in full workout gear, bag strapped on his shoulder and chuckled. "And I thought I told you I like your coffee better. So gimme. Morning by the way. Happy day after your birthday."

He leaned over and kissed my forehead by way of greeting. I smiled at him and laughed despite my still being groggy. It was nice having someone to spend my birthday with and he had made sure to make it fun by zip-lining and then hitting the amity natural springs.

Odd how eight months ago we barely talked and now we are the best of friends. Loneliness makes for strange friends. We also bonded because we were out for our morning run at the same time and he just kept showing up at the same time and joining me. Now we spar, run and workout together all the time. He is also at my house most nights for dinner and most mornings.

"So you ready for the first competition before we go into full physical prep and skill test mode?" He asks as he takes his own mug of coffee and grabs a few muffins I had made the night before.

I nod as I break off a piece of my own. Because we were able to test early and do a year's worth of prep for our chosen faction. They also started having skills tests and competitions for Dauntless. The school had already implemented the ability to do projects, physical classes and faction studies to help dependents settle into their new homes and roles easily around three years ago.

I had signed up for every class, project and physical portion I could. I had already been doing it for most of my life anyways but now it all counted towards me for when I stepped foot into Dauntless. I was very happy with my projects and what they brought to Dauntless. Armor, weapons, intel tech, non-lethal projectiles, vehicles for patrols, serums to help with investigations pertaining to memory recovery and lastly a co-project with Zander of a battle simulation system that would allow the participant to get the feel for real combat while also skill building. It was also able to accommodate multiple people to learn real team building and would hopefully give us an idea of how specific people would do in battle together. It was like being in a fear sim it was that real but it wasn't a fear. Instead it was recreating what a real battle would feel, smell, taste and sound like.

"I am looking forward to it though for the level I am at I am not sure how many opponents I will have to choose from." I frown and gulp more of my coffee.

Zander laughs at my gulping and the truth of my statement. I had been doing more mentoring than fighting because I was beyond even most of the Dauntless-born. I got to spar against members or the instructors but hadn't competed in the last few runs of competitions. This was a new round of competitions and was a few months after the last so it would be interesting to see if anyone had improved.

After we had finished the coffee and muffins, I went and put my hair into a tight french braid and tucked the tail under so it wouldn't be loose during any fights. I was already dressed so all I did was make sure to grab my jacket, equipment bag, keys and tablet phone.

Zander waited for me in my garage of our apartment building and smirked at me as he leaned against the motorcycle he was claiming was his. I laughed and tossed him the keys and then got on my own and slipped my helmet on.

Starting mine up I revved the engine and made sure my bag was secure. I had made sure that the helmet had a built in mic and receiver. So when I got the call from the Dauntless Instructor in charge of the competition a few minutes later I just had to voice accept.

I hear the voice of George Wu cursing at the sound of the engine most likely. "Athena, are you on your death machine?"

I laugh with a grin. "Unless you don't want me to be on time, then yes I am. Zander is on the slightly slower one. What's up?"

George sighed and I could hear a frown in his voice "Nothing it can wait until you get here. You probably won't be fighting though. I am not liking what I am seeing entry wise."

I growl but it wasn't that unexpected. "Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw."

I hear chuckles and I frown. "Wu do you have me on fucking speakerphone?" I hear a pause and several more chuckles and I growl "Maybe I will call in that marker for the fucking spar you owe me George. I am sure your little buddies would just love to see a little Erudite princess beat your Dauntless ass all over the city again."

"Your first Dauntless tattoo on me it is." George says smoothly and I smirk.

"You better fucking believe it, maybe even a piercing or two. I am still deciding how many spine dermals I want so….anyways see you in about." I roar in front of the school and whip into the garage area. "About a minute unless you are in the garage and then that would be now. Fuck I love my baby girl." I yell and disconnect the call as I whip into a spot near the gym entrance from the garage. I revved the engine a few more times, then shut her off. I slipped the helmet off and put it in my bag of equipment before shouldering that and walking into the gym.

I hear the sounds of sparring from the younger primary students as they went against each other and my eyes ran over them appraisingly. There were several more factions that the last few months started allowing their children under 16 to participate some as young as 7. It was a very good start and hopefully could be improved upon.

Several of the children saw me and either stopped and gave me formal Sensei bows or waves. A few of them, an Amity girl named Shayla included, ran up to me and gave me a hug. "Mother is here to see me compete this time. Father says it would be unkind to not support me as we all know I am Dauntless. So she has come to support me." She leans in to whisper "She brought muffins...don't eat the muffins."

I throw my head back and laughed then looked back at her nodding. "I will make sure not to. But you should definitely offer one to Sensei Wu." I say with a mischievous wink to her.

Shayla's brown eyes light up and go wide and she runs off laughing.

I made my way over to where George is eyeing me suspiciously. And I smirk at him as I put my bag on the bench beside him. "Why did that laugh send shudders through me? Like someone walked over my grave?" George asked with a quirked eyebrow.

I shrugged and took off my jacket and put it under the bag, still smirking. I was dressed in easy to move clothes which was my tank, leggings and tennis shoes. I still had to wear fucking blue but it was all midnight blue. Even the tennis shoes and socks I wore were the darkest blue possible.

I look over to George who is eyeing me nervously. I scowl at him "Ok what the fuck is up? First it was the voice filled with gloom and now you are looking nervous...more jumpy than usual."

George shrugs and looks away. "Maybe I am just wondering what you are cooking up?" He hedges and I narrow my eyes at him.

"Yeah right, you ain't up to shit." I shake my head and watch as Zander comes up smiling and hair wind blown back because he likes the more sedate stroll on the modified Harley and goes without a helmet.

I smirk at him as he makes his way over to me with a shit eating grin on his face. He gets close to me and tosses me the keys "I ever tell you how much I love…." he leans close to me playing like he is going to kiss me, even cupping my cheek and then laughs close to my mouth "your motorcycle? I seriously think she and I are soul mates."

I shake my head and grin at him as I punch his shoulder "You are setting some girl up for failure in competing with my second baby. No one will ever give you a ride quite like her."

Zander throws his head back laughing and winks "Ain't that the fucking truth."

He dumps his bag next to mine and takes off his jacket. He is in something similar to me but his muscles bulging make it look a lot more martial and intimidating then my hourglass figure and 5'7 height. I have no amount of fat on me and my abs are well defined but not overly muscled. I have what George called a femme fatale physique.

Zander also has about the same skin tone as I do, a golden hue. His came because he spends sunny days on my rooftop garden with me doing various hangout things while mine is natural. His black hair and blue eyes only highlight his features that look like they came off of Adonis. I seriously don't know why the girls aren't flocking to him but he says he isn't interested in just a brain. He wants brains, heart, soul and fearless. So basically he is waiting until he finds someone until he gets to Dauntless. He won't have issues that is for sure. I have heard they work fast there and don't care about if it is casual or not.

At least I hear Eric makes out well enough. I wouldn't really know because I haven't spoke to him since that morning. I have seen him around Erudite. He made leader and has to go to meetings there. I see him at parties and other various places as well. He looks the Dauntless part. He shaved the sides of his head but the top part of his hair he grew out longer and has it styled in this perfect wave. He got the maze and symbol tattoos I designed for him, he snuck the sketches in with him. Two dermals above his eye and his leadership tattoos complete the look, that and his tight black clothing. He was built before he left but he has only gotten more so now. He turns 20 in a few months and he is quite towering and predatory looking. No wonder I hear he has a stream of girls in his bed.

I stopped wearing the ring on my hand but I couldn't stand to get rid of it completely. I wear it on a chain around my neck. His shirts had long ago lost his scent and when initiation time passed and he still hadn't even tried to contact me, those went into a box along with our pictures. I had the memories and the permanent reminder on my hand. I still had no regrets just heartache. I dated a few times and kissed a bit with one of them but never did anything else. They got compared with Eric and that wasn't fair to anyone.

I had wondered once or twice about Zander and if I wanted to or should go there with him. He never gave any indication of him wanting it and I was glad. I liked his friendship too much to ruin it. Sometimes at parties though when we were dancing close or I was pulled to his side when we were hanging out on my couch watching movies or working on projects, I wondered what being with him would be like. It almost felt domestic at times how easy we were with each other. It was missing something though and I just realized that was something I might only ever have with one man. It sucked how easy it is for some people to just move on and be casual about their bodies and needs. It wasn't that I didn't have them because fuck if I didn't. I just couldn't make myself feel that way for or with someone else.

I scowl at where my thoughts are taking me this morning and I move away from George to the group of primary students I had begun to mentor. I like working with the few girls that are there. I am nothing like what a warrior would look like, curvy and shorter than the guys. I have what I am told is a face that makes people think elf princess' are real. So I like the girls to see it can be done with dedication and that size doesn't matter when it comes to being a good fighter. I work with correcting posture on a few of them and even work with the pads. I speak to parents, surprisingly mothers, that are amazed at how their daughters are much more confident outside of the competitions too. I can see them glowing and it gives me hope to see an Amity mother or even an Abnegation mother looking at her daughter and seeing the hope and dreams blooming for their daughters before my eyes.

I make my way over to the middle schoolers and George calls me over to him. "Hey Zeke is here and needs you two to go sign some last minute paperwork for next week when we start doing the skills tests and finalizing prep work. It has to be turned in today because you aren't far from choosing. You need to hurry because we are starting soon though." George huff's frustrated.

I frown but nod and head over to where Zeke is. He barely glances at me as he shoves some forms to me and pulls back the pages to just where I need to sign and then jerks them back quickly. I frown because Zeke is usually much more friendly "You okay Zeke?" I ask worriedly. Zeke and his brother have become pretty good friends over the last few years but this last year his whole crew have become really close to me.

His eyes snap to mine and he sighs and nods but looks away. "Yeah" He scratches his head and shrugs but won't look at me. "Shauna is having morning sickness and.." he trails off awkwardly.

I grin and then wince as I nod "Yeah that sucks. Hey, umm I might be able to find a recipe that might help her with that. I will check it out tonight and shoot you a message."

He nods and scowls at the papers. "Yeah thanks Athena." His voice is worried and full of what sounds like regret and I really hope that isn't the case. I love Shauna and I know he does too. I hear George calling me so with a frown I turn and head back to the competition.

George looks over at me with a scowl and looking apprehensive. "Did you get it signed?"

I throw a glance at him and nod. "Yeah, all taken care of. So what is going on for today?"

George's frown deepens but then he sighs. "Like I said you won't have anyone to fight. You are just too far out of the levels. So we watch and make judgements. Amar, Four, Daria and Eric are judging though for the upper levels."

His eyes go to me at Eric's name and I keep my face neutral and nod "Sounds good." My voice is even but I am whirling.

Daria I expect, she is always here for this because it was her pet project. Her and I are very close and have been for years. She comes over for dinners with her husband Max, another leader, all the time.

Amar is another regular here, as is Four. They are both Lead Instructors and being at competitions especially close to choosing helps them to plan. Four is actually a new instructor and was in Eric's initiate class.

Apparently they don't get along but it quieted down after Eric did get 1st rank and the offer of leadership. Four and he had been neck and neck for the entire 4 months. Now Four does Intel and Training. I had known Four as Tobias so I knew his surly manner but we weren't best friends. We just shared that both our parents had fucked up four years ago and the shit we had to deal with because of them.

I have never mentioned my past with Eric to anyone here today but Zander so why was George eyeing me like that? What has my mind in a whirl even more is why is Eric here? He has never come to any of these prior.

He showed up last month at the most recent project completions testing under the Dauntless department and that was a first too. He had moved his gaze over me once, it was cold and as if I was just some stranger. That night I had torn through so many targets for my knives and hit my punching bag so hard my hands were raw for days afterwards. I don't cry and got release the only way I knew how.

Oh well I could get through the day. I had every day since he left. Zander came up after seeing Zeke with a frown and looked at me.

"Did they have you sign anything Athena?" He asked me his eyebrow quirked.

I tilted my head and looked at him curiously. "Yeah like five or six things, why?"

He shrugged still frowning. "Zeke said he must have forgot them. The he shuffled shit around and said he would see me Monday before he took off."

I frown and then shrug it off. "Well he did say Shauna is having morning sickness issues so maybe he is just having an off day?"

Zander thinks about that and shrugs and then smirks "Hey after the competition want to get changed and go to that Rave in Amity? Carry on your birthday celebration, we didn't get in a dance together."

My eyes light up and I grin wickedly "Hell Yeah. We can take the two seater. It does better on those roads anyways."

He throws his arm around my shoulders bring me close to his chest and kisses my forehead. "You and your sexy mechanical skills, Athena. I swear to gods the guy that gets you better appreciate that shit."

I blush and duck under his arm, grabbing it and twisting it behind his back smirking "Hey, I am more than a great set of tools."

"Fuck! Yes alright you are more than a sexy mechanic. Can I have my arm back please?" He pleads and I pause thinking about it.

"I guess you can yea." I chuckle as I release him.

George suddenly jerks my arm pulls me over to the other side and pushes me towards the far left rings. "Go watch over there will you!" He almost shrieks at me and is white.

What the fuck is up with him today? Zander and I share looks and he shrugs too. Sighing, I go and watch the primary students matches. Four comes to watch too and I notice that he hasn't loosened up a bit since I saw him last. Maybe it will get better for him. Abuse takes a long time to get over.

I walk to where Shayla is fighting against a bigger boy a year older than her and she is doing beautifully. I am bouncing on my feet I am so proud of her. She dances and dodges and hits exactly where the points count without wasting energy. When she wins the boy scowls and I think I am going to have to intervene until I see her turn hard eyes on him that I recognize I do when someone is about to do something stupid. The boy pales then bows to her and walks off. I hear Four chuckling beside me and I turn in surprise to him.

He scoffs at me, rolling his eyes. "Just because I have never laughed around you before doesn't mean I don't know how. Maybe you aren't as funny as you try to be?"

I laugh and grin. "Fair enough, I admit I think I am hilarious especially when I haven't had much sleep. I get all slap happy and think anything is funny as shit."

He smirked and nodded "Really, wouldn't be able to pick up that at all. The girl was good but I laughed because she did a damn good imitation of the same look I have seen you use."

I rock back and forth on my feet and try to contain my smugness "Yeah Shayla is good. She is going to do well in Dauntless for sure."

Four quirks an eyebrow "Same could be said for you. I hear…"

"Don't you have something to be doing... _Four_?" Eric spoke in a cold and menacing tone from behind us.

I saw Four tense and his jaw clench. He threw me a look of sympathy and walked off.

I watch him go and turn to Eric but he is already walking off. I watch his back and I am glaring daggers into him. Really? So I don't even get a nod or anything? I should be crushed but instead I am pissed. A rave, drinking and dancing is sounding better and fucking better all the time.

By the end of the competition I am fuming. The only person that came within ten feet of me that wasn't a competitor or George was Daria. She seemed amused about something and kept watching me the whole time. When things were wrapping up I stomped over to my bag and whipped my jacket on.

"Leaving already? Not going to help break down?" Zander asked walking towards me.

"Fuck no I need to go hit some shit. Here are the fucking keys just let yourself in when you are ready. I will be ready by 7 or so and we can go then." I growl and grab my helmet and shoulder my bag.

Zander with a frown. "Alright Babe, see you then."

I throw him a smile but he hugs me tight and kisses my temple before I stomp out and slam out of the door. Once my bag is secure and helmet on, I ramp up my engine and squeal out of there hard and fast. I don't go straight to my apartment but go riding for longer and gunning the engine. I end up popping wheelies a few times then turning back and heading to my apartment.

Once I get in I move straight to the corner. Where a dining table would be in the loft like space I have a hanging punching bag and knife target practice boards. I drop my bag, whip off my coat and go to the shelf I have my tape and gloves but just strap on some gloves to start with.

I voice activate my 'I feel like kicking ass music' and kick off my shoes and start working the bag.

I feel like I had barely started when my music turns off and I hear someone behind me. I whip around and see a glaring Eric leaning against a concrete pillar behind me in my living room.

I glare right back at him, letting my eyes go hard and my face letting him know he isn't welcome. "What the fuck are you doing here Eric? How did you get in?"

"Nice to see you too Thena. And your door was open but I did knock. You just couldn't hear me over that shit." He says in that same cold voice with the same cold eyes.

"Duly noted I will remember to lock that shit. Nice to see you too. Now if you'll excuse me I have a party to get ready for." I bite out sarcastically and rip my gloves off and put them back on their shelf.

"No you don't. You aren't going anywhere tonight." Eric uses that same tone he used to use on me that got what he wanted.

"The fuck I am not. I am going to a party, getting wasted and dancing." I scoff at him. "You are more than welcome to stay your happy ass here and watch me walk out of that fucking door. For now I am getting a shower."

I whip around and slam into my bedroom and start pulling out clothes and other items to get ready. I hear my bedroom door click and then see Eric stalking towards me taking his jacket off as he comes at me. "I won't say it again Athena, you aren't going anywhere tonight. And yes I will be staying here but it sure as fuck won't be to watch you walk out that or any door."

My nostrils flare and my chest heaves I am getting so pissed. "Eric I don't know where you get the idea you can just show up like this after.." I don't get any further because he had already made it to me and pulled my face to his roughly claiming my mouth. At first I tried to fight it and push him away, but he just deepened the kiss growling and pulled me against his body.

It was like that first touch we had where electricity shoot through our hands but now it was from our lips down to my toes. I feel warmth course through me into my core and pool in my thighs as I moan into his mouth. I feel his rumble of pleasure as he picks me up and carries me the rest of the way to the bed and lays me down. He doesn't break the kiss as he kicks his shoes off and I hear him undoing his pants and shoving them down. Then his hands are pulling mine down. All while he is stealing my breath away and not stopping his assault on my mouth.

When we does he is poised outside of me and he pulls back only enough to look at me. "I promise we can go slower next time baby. I just need…" and with that he slams into me causing me to gasp at the wonderful and painful intrusion. His lips find my neck as he bites then soothes in several places that leave me arching and meeting his thrusts into me.

"Fuck Thena you're so tight baby." Eric growls as he moves inside of me.

I grasp on to his back and moan at the building sensation of release in me. I can feel him pick up his pace and he reaches down between us. He pushes my tank and bra out of the way and latches onto my nipple as he moves his hand to my center and pinches and rubs my nerve center.

"Eric…" I gasp and scratch his back and I feel his smirk on my nipple. He bites down then soothes causing ripples to shoot through me.

He moves to my mouth and claims it again before going back to my neck. "Tell me how much you missed me Thena. Tell me how much you love this."

He moves his hips and changes the angle and thrusts hard into me again and my eyes roll back up into my head. I can only moan. "Tell me Thena." He commands hoarsely. He is close to his own release but wants mine first.

"Eric...please...I missed you. I fucking missed you and this…" I grunt as he thrusts into me faster.

"You're mine Thena. You will always be mine." His lips crash to mine again and with a final pinch to my clit I shatter around him. My muscles clamping down on him and pulling his release from him with a roar. He thrusts into me a few more times before he stills and collapses beside me. Pulling me closer he then gently starts kissing, biting and sucking all over my shoulders and neck before he kisses my mouth gently.

He pulls back and strokes my face looking at me. I lay panting trying to process all that happened. His eyes are that blue and not the cold and menacing eyes I had only seen these past months. "Say something please baby."

I frown and shake my head. "What should I say Eric?" My eyes are starting to fill and it is starting to piss me off again.

He closes his eyes and presses his forehead against mine "That you still love me. That you still want me."

"Eric, I don't love easy. You know that about me. But I also don't recover from hurt as easy either." I stop because I don't know what else to say. I do love him but it had hurt for him to not even acknowledge me.

He lays there holding me and buries his head in my neck "I miss you Thena. Everyday I miss you. I love you so fucking much Athena."

My voice breaks "Then why Eric? I can accept the girls. I didn't like seeing it...but.."

He stiffens beside me and pulls me to him and searches my eyes "What?" his voice is a strangled whisper.

I smile bitterly letting the hurt and anger show through. "You think I can be around all these Dauntless borns, Dauntless members and preparing to go to Dauntless without hearing things? Or being at parties and seeing it Eric? Seeing you with them? When you wouldn't even look my way?"

"Athena...I didn't know…" He stops and I push away from him or try to but he won't let me go.

I turn my head from him and won't look at him. "I told you before you left. I didn't expect it. I knew this would happen. I knew what you would do. That you would hate me and yourself for wanting to see me or be with me. You may love me Eric and yes I love you, but we were just stupid kids making promises we couldn't keep."

He pulled my face to look at him and growled. "I am not giving you or us up. I am sorry I hurt you Thena. No excuses, I am a bastard for having done that. It doesn't make it better for me to say they were temporary releases but that is what they were. It is only you Athena and has been from that first day. I knew it then and I know it now."

If I were going to say anything else he didn't give me a chance. He locked onto my mouth again and undressed both of us completely this time before taking me slower. He wasn't satisfied with me coming undone for him once. He had to shatter me over and over before he allowed himself to take his own coming down from the last time he held me close to him and pulled the covers over us. I drifted to sleep in his arms, but only after he pointedly took the ring from the chain and put it back on my finger.

"Don't take that off again Thena." He commanded then kissed it.

I woke later and the bed was empty but I heard voices in the living room. I frowned and looked at the time. I remembered that Zander was supposed to be meeting me for the party. I was starting to get up when my door opened back up after the front door had opened and been firmly shut closed.

Eric made his way back over with a smirk on his face and in his boxers. "Eric...what did you…"

He picked me up and took me to my bathroom and with a smirk still on his face he started the bathwater. I had a huge soaking tub and it was my one true luxury item I splurged on in here.

He sat me on the counter while he was running the water and kissed me gently. "I did nothing but tell your boyfriend that you were otherwise occupied...indefinitely."

I frowned at him shaking my head negatively. "Zander isn't my boyfriend, he hasn't even tried to be. We are best friends that's it."

Eric scoffed with a scowl. "Trust me Athena. I know when someone is besotted with my girl and he is for sure. But he knows his place now and as long as he continues to know it I am fine with him being around."

I scowled at his cave-man attitude but Eric had always had that. "What did you say Eric?"

"I told him that you were mine and that you would be occupied for today and tomorrow. I can't stay longer than that but I can't bring myself to leave you before then either." He shut the water off in the tub and lowered both of us down and turned on the jets and held me against his chest as we relaxed into the jets and each other.

I had a million questions but I also just wanted to soak this up with him. If I had a few days I would take them. If there were more I could ask those questions then but not right now.

He didn't leave first thing in the morning and spent the day with me. We went to the rooftop and he read to me there from one of our favorite books. We went to my garage and worked on some of my designs until he got turned on by my plans and me working on an engine and proceeded to take me right there. I cooked us breakfast and dinner but he had something brought from Dauntless for lunch for us after I had gone to lay down. The next morning though he was gone and five new shirts of his were waiting for me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I still do not own anything but my oc's and plot**

 **Chapter 4**

The next few months before choosing were a whirl of training, projects, skill testing in survival, fighting, weapons, faction knowledge and so many other things. It was almost like we were already in initiation with shadowing patrols, trials, meetings and while I loved it all I didn't have the time to really relish it.

I did see Eric again here or there for stolen moments at the school or other places where he would pull me to somewhere hidden and kiss me senseless or take me against a wall. He had also apparently gotten a key to my apartment from somewhere because I woke up to him sliding into me one morning. He also messaged me on my tablet phone checking in and telling me about his day or asking me about mine.

Zander and I still ran and worked out together but he had drawn back from me some. I understood it, I just didn't like it and Eric's words of him being into me started running through my mind. The problem was that even if he did feel that way I didn't know how to handle it. I loved Eric and I know I would never fully get him out of my heart. If I were being honest I wanted to believe we could be together. I just didn't want to lose Zander as a friend even if it hurt him to be around me. I felt like the worst sort of fucking person because that was completely selfish. He never broached the subject though and since we were so busy neither did I.

Zander let himself in as I was making dinner for us. We had one week until the choosing and had been pretty busy with prep. Initiation would work differently for different people apparently. There were those that may not have prepared early and needed longer training and then those like me that didn't need as long. We wouldn't know until we got there though and no one would tell me about it.

Daria and Max had been spending time over for dinners the last few weeks but what shocked me was Eric coming with them. He never said that we were together to them but they didn't look shocked, just amused and even pleased. He also didn't keep away from me at those dinners and openly kissed me or sat close with me pulled to his side.

For the dinner with Zander tonight I had kept it simple but also indulgent. I stuck with burgers, fries and a dessert of brownie sundaes. We didn't do meals like that often and it was our treat to ourselves. We skipped sitting at the island counter and went over to my huge dark grey squishy leather sectional and propped up our feet with our food and beers. I put on a action movie that had some comedy in it because I felt like things had been getting too heavy lately and we both needed to laugh.

I was happy that Zander didn't mind when we sat like we always did when hanging out like this. After we had eaten he let me curl into his side while he had his arm wrapped around me and a blanket pulled up over us.

"We need to talk Athena." He said quietly from beside me and I tensed and went to pull away. He sighed and stopped me. "It isn't anything bad, but I know you knew it was going to have to eventually be said."

"Zander…" My face was scrunched up and I desperately wanted to stop him but he wouldn't have it.

"Please Athena, it needs to be out there. Yes I have feelings for you and have for far longer than we were friends. It was a crush before but as we got closer it got deeper." He sighed and held me closer and shook his head.

"I knew about you and Eric before you told me. I saw him coming and going and how much time you spent together. It wasn't exactly normal for either of you and I knew Eric from before too. We aren't exactly best friends but we are sort of friends."

I frowned and pulled away to look at him trying not to get pissed and he sighed. "I was supposed to keep an eye on you if I could. It was a casual request, as casual a Eric makes requests, because he knew I lived in the same building. It wasn't like I minded though because I would have done it anyways. I always tried to keep an eye out for you. I never told you any of this because I didn't want you to push me away because you thought I was some sort of spy. I wasn't and I hadn't spoken to Eric until that night he was here."

I frowned and looked down, processing it all. "What did he say to you that night Zander?"

He scowled and shook his head. "It doesn't matter the words but it was clear he cares even if he is a dick about it. I am fine with that Athena because I knew that I wasn't even going to take that place for you. I could see that. I would rather have you as my best friend than not at all. But I also need to say something else."

He got serious and cupped the sides of my face "The second he fucks up Athena I will be there. I don't care how long I have to wait but I will."

My breath stuttered and I frowned. "Zander…" I swallowed and looked at my hands because while I knew he could wait forever and I wouldn't feel that way for him, at least not how I felt about Eric. I also knew I would let him because that meant I wouldn't lose him. "Fuck I am such a bitch Zander. Don't tell me this please because I am not a nice person. And I will just let you do this to yourself. You can't…."

Zander chuckles as he interrupts me and pulls me back to his side like we were. "Oh believe me I know you would be willing to let me wait but I would regardless of what you would want. So maybe you are a bitch but I guess I am sadist."

I close my eyes and sigh letting myself relax into him. "Do you think other factions churn out as fucked up dependents as Erudite seems to?" I ask in all seriousness and he throws his head back laughing.

"Fuck I hope not, or this whole gods damn city is doomed." He says after he calms down from laughing.

The rest of the night we don't talk about much but that tenseness is both better and worse. It is worse because it feels like there is this counter ticking down until some big showdown happens. It feels better though because now we know all the cards and we can just go back to being us.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello all! Hope everyone is enjoying this story. Don't know how long it will go and might have some time jumps. Thanks for the reads, follows and favorites. I hope the title works because seriously I struggled for some profound title but I was inspired by Tove Lo's "The Way that I am" So I just stuck to that.**

 **Disclaimer: I own Athena and my madcap plot, but Roth owns the rest.**

 **Chapter 5**

I wake up to a rush of warmth between my thighs and a growing pulsing need blooming. I know he is there just from the warmth and heat from his hands on my body but I blink and gasp as I raise my head to see Eric with his mouth working over my clit and fingers moving inside of me. How long he has been there I am not for certain but it is long enough that I am already shattering under his attentions to me.

He moves up my body kissing, biting, sucking and just in general driving me crazy. He is also marking his territory which is something he does often. Sometimes I wouldn't see him for a week or almost two and then he would show up somewhere I was and take me all while leaving his marks. He loved doing it on my shoulders and neck.

When he finally makes his way up to my mouth he kisses me deeply before moving his fingers inside of me to work me towards another climax. He doesn't have to work hard. He knows every button to push on me but this time before I get there he pulls back and flips me over then puts me on my hands and knees and strokes me as he thrusts into me.

"Eric…" I moan and I know he is smirking behind me as he moves his other hand to my waist and grips me.

"You love this don't you Thena?" He growls as he pulls me by my hip closer but doesn't move otherwise, his hand even stills on my clit. I growl in frustration when he won't let me move to get friction. He wants me to give in and has me right where he wants me.

"God dammit Eric, yes I love you inside me." I yell and when he doesn't move and just chuckles huskily at my attempts I mewl. "Eric please, please fuck me baby."

With a groan and growl of his own after I had started to tense and release my muscles he slides out and slams back in. Both hands now on my hips. Our sounds are pure animalistic as he grunts or I do when he goes in too deep. I feel him tensing and increase my working of my muscles, determined to make him give in first.

"Fuck..Thena…." He grunts not being able to complete the command he was going to give me.

"Come on baby….cum for me." I pant and work harder as I thrust myself back onto him. With a groan and tensing he pulls out all of the way, grabs my hair and pulls me back so that my back is against his chest to latch onto my neck and then slams into me. He only has to thrust in a few more times before we both lose the battle and climax together.

"Thena" He moans against my neck and shoulder. I smile panting and move my hands to cover his that have gone to wrap around my waist and the one that has snaked its way up to rest gently on my throat between my breasts.

"Hello to you too baby." I purr and feel his smirk in my shoulder before he lowers us down to the bed and pulls me into his cage like embrace.

"I thought it would be a nice way to say hello." He grins against my shoulder when he presses a kiss to it.

He is leaning above me on an elbow. Running his hands over the sides of my face, my hair, tracing my features as if he still needs to memorize them. To make sure I am still there with him. Eric has always had the gentle side of him with me he just rarely lets anyone see it. My first time felt like something out of a fucking romance novel he was so gentle and tender with it. He had planned out the whole night down to candles and at our secret spot. We both have those sides and aren't afraid to show that to each other or the darker sides either.

"What time is it?" I ask in a sigh as I relax when he starts massaging my scalp. I have one big thing I love that only he knows and loves doing to me. I love my hair being played with. I turn into a big cat, purr and all.

Eric chuckles as I give my little purr and then he sighs. "It's 3 or so in the morning. I don't know, I got here a while ago and did a few things before I decided to come say hello."

I smile lazily at him with my eyes still closed. "You can tell me hello like that anytime you want."

"Hmm...I plan to." He mutters and kisses me deeply before he pulls back. "You ready for tomorrow Baby?"

I open my eyes and look at him. He is tensed a bit in his mouth area. There is something he is worrying about. I smile at him and lift a hand to his face, gently stroking his cheek. "Yeah of course. Are you afraid I am going to stay here or something Eric?"

I quirk an eyebrow and he growls worriedly but then scoffs. "No you would end up blowing this place to hell and back. If I didn't come kidnap you before you could anyways."

I chuckle and grin. "Yeah I don't want to be here any longer than I need to be. What were you doing when you got here?"

He smirked at me and shrugged. "Making sure you had the shit packed I told you to."

I shook my head. My entire apartment was in boxes with labels he gave me to put on them. I still don't understand why. I mean he is a leader and Daria did say I just couldn't take it with me to the choosing ceremony and it couldn't be on my person at that time. It was a loophole but I didn't know where he was putting everything until then. From what he had told me of his apartment it wasn't one of the leaders ones or even the leader homes that some of them have instead of apartments. It was a simple studio he chose because he didn't need more or want to have to clean something bigger. It was just a place to sleep and he was hardly ever there.

"I still don't know where you are going to put it, your apartment doesn't sound very spacious." I mutter sarcastically.

He nuzzles my jaw and smiles. "Hmmm, I think I have something figured out. Oh yeah" He leans up and gets a shit eating grin on his face. "I already moved your bikes and the two seater. That was also why I was here so early."

I narrow my eyes and frown. "Wait, I hadn't packed my tools and shit up yet." He shrugs with a smirk and I roll my eyes "You know being a leader doesn't mean you have slave laborers right?"

"Really? Could have fucking fooled me. Besides they didn't mind so much when they saw the marvels you created with the shit. I almost choked one of them out when I heard him muttering about how hot was it you were into that shit and how could he get that." Eric scowled and then crashed his lips to mine as if even now he needed to make sure it was known I was his.

He wasn't the only one that needed to stake a claim though and I shoved him to his back and kissed, licked and sucked in all the areas I knew he loved and I loved to do it to. Especially near his leader tattoos so that they could be seen. I worked my way down and took him with my mouth like he had taken me.

I have always been amazed by his recovery time. Because no sooner than he was giving me his seed then he was hard again and pulling me down on him, letting me ride him as we both held each other's eyes or kissed on the others necks. He let go first murmuring my name over and over. I went over the edge when I felt him come undone and cried out his name too. Completely spent I curled into him when we laid back down and drifted back to sleep.

"I love you Thena." He whispered as he kissed my forehead.

I smiled sleepily and sated. "I love you Eric"

I scowled as I looked around the empty apartment. Not because I would miss this fucking place but because I hadn't thought out that I would want my coffee maker for this morning. I must have sat staring at the place it would have been for almost 20 minutes before I heard the knocks at the door.

"What?" I yelled irritably.

I hear multiple muffled chuckles and then more knocks. I growl "It's fucking open!" I snarl out still scowling at the empty spot as if I could make it materialize by my fearsome scowl alone.

I hear multiple footsteps and then feel someone beside me. "What the fuck are you looking at Athena?" Zeke says from beside me.

Zander throws his head back and laughs from the other side of me. "I believe she is staring at where her coffee maker used to be and trying to scowl it into existence."

"It ain't fucking working either so you have been warned." I growl out, not amused in the fucking slightest.

He bumps my shoulder playfully "Well it is a good thing I had Zeke here pick up large black coffees and banana muffins for us, isn't it."

My head snaps over to Zeke who is smirking holding out a cup and a bag. I grin and happily hop in place. "Oh Zeke, I could just kiss you."

Zeke shakes his head emphatically and almost scared. "No thanks, I like my skin where it is. By the way Shauna and I thank you for those recipes and the books for the whole pregnancy shit. Seriously lifesavers"

I chuckle and take the cup and bag and lean against the counter and take my first gulps of coffee. After I have a few in me I sigh in happiness and then my brain starts working. I look over and see Zeke and his brother Uri who is choosing with us. "Wait what are you guys doing here?"

Zeke looks uncomfortable and looks away. Zander sighs out the answer. "Zeke is protection detail."

I scowl and then sigh and roll my eyes. "Fucking really? Oh yeah...speaking of that. That wouldn't be good to be carrying around."

I reach into the waistband of my usual midnight blue attire and pull out two 9mm mags then reach to the inside of my jacket I pull out the 9mm. I put them on the counter and look at Zeke. "Mind taking that for me and getting it back to me. Whenever I can be allowed to have it?"

Zeke's eyes scrunch up and the he rolls them. "Of course he would have left one with you. Not that I can blame him." He mutters and then tucks it all away.

Uri's eyes were wide and I laughed. "Uri it isn't like we haven't been working with guns for this whole year. And we both know damn well Dauntless-borns and some Erudite work with them longer than that. I was proficient in that shit before I was 11."

Zeke smirks at me "You are scary with any weapon Athena. You blew everyone out of the water in the weapon skills portion."

I frown and think back. "Not really, I did have that miss with the 50 cal."

Zeke's mouth drops "Yeah one miss at the furthest possible range and by inches from what the spotter said. Then they called out the adjustment and you were dead center. So...stop" He elbowed me with a shake of his head.

I shrugged and popped some muffin in my mouth. "Where are Lynn and Mar?" I asked looking at Uri.

He smiled at me shaking his head. "Are you kidding, them get up this early? We don't have to be at The Hub for an hour so Mar is probably still getting ready and Lynn still asleep."

I laughed and nodded. I could be girly and get dressed up and had often with Mar when we would go to parties. The girls would come here and we would drink and get ready. I could also be ready in about five minutes and was no nonsense. Today I had my normal tight pants, tank and jacket all in midnight blue with my black combat boots on. Other than that I had very little makeup on and my hair was in a french braid for the run.

The only things that wouldn't burn were my boots and ring. I had tried to get Eric to take it so I didn't risk it but he had just smirked and said not to worry about it. When I tried to argue he had scowled and commanded me that I better have it on when I showed up. I didn't fight him because I just didn't want it taken from me.

I drank my coffee and ate my muffin as the guys talked. Every time Uri would ask about initiation and how it was going to work Zeke would shut him up saying he knew better because they weren't allowed to talk about it.

Honestly this was a first because most knew at least some of what to expect. I guess the last few years they have really tried to change things up and with all dependents being allowed to train so hard it was almost like we had already started initiation.

I sigh looking at Zander who is looking around a bit sad. I walk over and wrap my arms around his waist and he hugs, his lips pressed to my forehead. "You know Athena I lived downstairs in that apartment for almost 4 years and you up here that same time. But I can honestly say I didn't start living until this last year. That is all I was thinking. I won't miss this fucking place anymore than you will." Zander says in soft voice as he tightens his arms around me.

I nod and sigh. "Yeah the only thing that I will miss is my tub."

I pull back and he rolls his eyes and laughs "Well I guess I can understand that, it is basically a jacuzzi."

Zeke looks between us frowning and looking very uncomfortable at how close we are I guess. So I sigh and move away and think if I am forgetting anything. I just have to leave the keys on the counter since it will be locked up by some person from housing. I pull out my phone and see Eric has messaged me.

' _See you soon Thena. Then you will be home with me for good.' -Eric_

' _See you soon Eric. I can't wait.'-Athena_

I see Zeke holding his hand out and I frown and then realize what he wants. "Oh right." I power it down and give it to him.

He puts it up and shrugs. "We should get going. Zander said you will need to stop and get at least one more cup in you before we go in for all the bullshit."

I smile and nod gratefully. "Gods yes please. This is going to be a long day. Then Lynn and Mar said they will be dragging Tris and I shopping before the big party tomorrow. At least it is Thursday and we have until Monday to get settled in and all that."

We are already walking out and leaving my old home behind. I had felt bad that Zander wasn't able to take anything like I was but he had said he had already been selling his stuff and that he didn't have anything that he would want to take. He had basically hoarded his credits that we got as orphans and from our projects. Those credits would be transferred to our new faction cards.

Uri laughed and nudged me with his elbow. "Oh Shauna and Lauren are already talking about helping out there. But Lynn got really defensive of Tris especially and said no one was allowed to make her wear anything she didn't feel comfortable with. Although the last few times Tris has gone with us to parties you got her to branch out, or she is just doing it on her own."

I shrug and think of my Abnegation friend. Her mother was a Dauntless-born and her parent's are leaders. I had been Tris' friend for a while because Natalie knew my dad. When Marcus was taken down four years ago Natalie had known changes were going to be made to allow for preparation for transfers to be done and she had asked me to help Tris more than I already was. Tris has been learning to fight, shoot, knife throw and do obstacle courses for about as long. She will never be a girly girl truly, kind of like me, but she is far from a prude either.

"Tris is Tris. She has moments just like I do when I want to be a bit daring and dress a bit more girly or sexier than we would normally. But mainly we dress for comfort and to have fun." I answer honestly.

We make it to the Erudite train station and get on the sedate train and take seats. Travel conditions between factions has improved greatly by reopening stations of trains that travel between the sectors. There are times that they run and set stations. Dauntless have those type as well but will always prefer the other method, it was just too thrilling.

The train does make it easier for us to get to The Hub well before time and for me to grab a coffee. Tris does join us and I smile at how she is dressed. Abnegation and Amity are factions that their females usually only wear dresses or skirts. It was decided that if a dependent is training they can wear the faction colors but in clothes that are appropriate for the activity. For today Tris is allowed to wear simple grey slacks, a modest grey shirt with wrist length sleeves, and grey boots.

Natalia and Andrew Prior are standing near some other senior members and leaders of all factions but when they see me they come over smiling.

"Athena, I am sure this is a very exciting day for you. You get to go home finally." Andrew says kindly and offers his hand briefly for a shake. His hand is as gentle as his manner, but I am not fooled. Andrew can be fearsome and intense when standing up for what is right.

Natalie is just the same but she hides it a little bit poorer than her husband. She gives me a brief hug and looks over Tris and I standing together. "You girls will do well there. I am so proud of you honey." She looks to Tris.

Tris smiles shyly and nods "Thank you Momma. You and Dad supporting and helping me has made all the difference in not feeling bad about leaving."

Andrew smiles sadly. "You aren't leaving really Tris." He uses her chosen name meaningfully. "Our children leave the nest and we rejoice when they soar."

Natalie looks over at her husband with love and pride in her eyes and I smile to see it. I haven't seen many examples of long enduring and loving relationships. The Priors and Max and Daria are the two couples I really have to look to.

Tris nods and then we both turn to go join our friends but Natalia pulls me into a hug and whispers in my ear "I hear I will be seeing you soon Athena. I always knew you would make it with your heart and mind."

She pulls back with a smile and though I am smiling on the outside, inside I am scowling. What the hell did she mean by that?

Before we can choose each dependent must go through and register that we are present. Basic information is gone through to make sure the file is complete and ready. All we have to do is walk up to a terminal, scan our hand and then walk through the door. Even though it is simple it is tedious because there are so many dependents.

Once I finally make it through the Erudite check in with Zander we make our way to our places to wait for the ceremony to start. For the first part all choosing age dependents sit in one section together. The seating isn't assigned so we can sit by our friends.

Zander and I join the seats near Tris and her brother Caleb. Caleb gives me a lopsided grin and I smile back. We had tried a date once, Caleb and I. It was horrible for both of us and we were almost relieved it had gone so badly. It was something of a joke now. He can be a bit stuck up but he has loosened up some. He is going to Erudite and I am sure he can't wait to get his hands on all of those books.

Tris and I look at each other and she smirks knowing I was thinking about that date. She leans in and whispers to me. "Did you know that Edward and Mayra broke up?"

I frown and shake my head. "I am not shocked, but no I didn't know they did. I mean she very obviously isn't meant for Dauntless and he is."

She nods with a knowing smile and looks to Caleb and then back to me. "Apparently they met in the library and had been spending time together. She was torn about wanting to be with Edward but knowing she would only be going for him. He helped her sound things out but then they started to spend more time together. She broke up with Edward when she realized she couldn't choose a faction based on a guy. But I think she also might have her eye on someone else."

I smirk and give a quiet chuckle "Knowing how our date went, that doesn't surprise me at all. They would do well together if anything does end up happening. Speaking of doing well together…." I trail off and smirk over at her.

Tris blushes and shushes me. "We will see. I don't know if being in Dauntless together will be different then just seeing each other around. I am glad that Molly and Drew aren't going though."

I scowl at the mention of those two and nod. "Me too, or I would have been tossing some fuckers into The Chasm."

Zander snickers and then smirks. "Speaking of, guess who is making his way over here Tris."

Tris' ears turn pink a bit when we see Peter Hayes looking around and then when his green eyes find Tris' his lazy smile crosses his face and he makes his way over. We move over to make room and he sits beside Tris and discreetly bumps shoulders with her.

"You look beautiful Tris. I am glad they let you wear the pants. I was worried about them making it difficult for you." He said in a soft drawl as he looked his sort of girlfriend over.

Tris smiled at him and nodded. "Thank you Peter. Momma and Dad fought hard for that change and I was glad that they were willing to support me enough to do that."

Peter nodded and looked to the rest of us saying his hellos. When his eyes crossed over Molly and Drew they got a bit hard and he sighed. "They tried to cause so much shit last night at the big going away party the Candor dependents had. You would think after how long we have been friends they would be happy to know I am going where I have wanted to be all along."

I scowled at them and scoffed. "But that would require having any kind of moral code Peter and we all know they don't. It was why they were very clearly kicked out of competitions."

Peter nodded and then smirked. "You should have heard Max when he visited them and told them that should they choose to pick Dauntless, especially after that incident, they could plan on that he would personally see to making their lives a living hell. But then what was super fucking scary was just the presence and then the grin that his second in command gave them. That dude is seriously fucking scary."

Inside I was quivering with laughter and pride because he was talking about Eric. I hadn't told any of the other transfers about how serious Eric and I had been or that we are together now. Tris knew we had been together that short time and that I had fallen for him. She knew because of the months after training when I didn't hear from him and the first time I saw him at a party I tore through knife targets and punching bags. Apparently when my heart is hurting I get physical instead of crying it out like a normal person. Zander looks over at me with a knowing look and we both quietly chuckle. I can't help but wonder how my relationship with Eric will affect my friendships.

Soon the ceremony is called to order and the dependent names will be called. My attention is drawn though to the Dauntless section. Leaning against the wall near the area where the new initiates will take a seat is Eric. He had already found me in my group and is staring at me. His posture suggests his same demeanor that he normally has out in public generally but his eyes I can tell are alternating between anxious and smug. When he sees I am looking he smirks at me for a moment before his glance turns worried and then he shutters himself and looks away. Something inside me sounds that not everything is quite right but he could just be having worries because of how we grew up. We both have insecurities that we aren't good enough or truly worthy of the other.

This year dependents names are going in order of their last name. Zander's last name is Banks so he is called first. With a look to our friends but then a quick kiss to my forehead he made his way down and choose Dauntless.

When he passed Eric I swear I tensed at Eric's body language. Zander and Eric sort of nodded to each other and then Zander took a seat. I released a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding at that.

I felt his gaze on me as names started being called again and then we got to my name. Only it was entirely to early. Instead of Athena Matthews what was called was…

"Athena Coulter" I felt as if the wind had been knocked from my lungs for a second. I felt the shock of my friends but my eyes were locked on Eric and his on me. If looks could kill right now he would be fucking dead. My nostrils were flared because how dare he not at least fucking TALK to me about this. I made my way down to the stage in almost a pissed off haze muttering; and I had a thought...brief but a thought.

What if I stayed and Erudite? It must have showed in my eyes because I saw his arms uncross and him push from the wall and his eyes go hard while his fists clenched. He shook his head barely at me, his lips thinned. Then his eyes flashed a pleading look at me just briefly. I growled and stomped over to the Dauntless bowl, cut my hand and let it drop in there. After I had done that I turned and was glaring at him walking slowly towards him. I was spinning the blade in my hand still pissed off. I was thinking about just giving his ear a little shave when I heard a soft laugh beside me and Johana from Amity putting her hand on my arm with a smirk.

"I will take that dear. Tell Eric I said felicitations, should be interesting to watch." She smirked at me knowingly.

My grin went and little wicked and handed her the knife before making my way over to the Dauntless section where there were loud greetings and cheers for me. I would have gone to sit but Eric pulled me beside him and then just leaned his side against me, confirming what that name meant to everyone.

My body was tensed and I heard his sigh. "Are you going to stay mad at me all night Thena?"

I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands. "I am thinking about maybe longer. Yeah how about the rest of initiation. That sounds like a good time frame."

I felt his chuckle as he leaned down to speak close to my ear with a smirk. "Only that long?" His eyes lock with mine "So you will stay mad at me for as long as you are in initiation?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "I am very seriously considering it Eric."

He smiles at me in that way that usually melts my anger at him but I just clench my fists tighter to lock that shit down. "I can live with that Athena. But I can't live without you Mrs. Coulter."

And just like fucking that my anger melts a bit and a shiver runs up my spine at his words and calling me by that last name. He of course feels it and smirks then leans back up to watch the rest of the ceremony.

My eyes go to Zander and he is looking ahead at the stage, his body rigid and shoulders tensed. He feels my eyes on him, he turns and my breath catches. I feel like I have been punched. I let out a small strangled gasp. Those blue eyes are filled with pain and sadness, and it kills me. He gives me a small sad smile but nods to me. Then his smile turns more into the smile that says we will be ok. I don't know if I should feel better or worse because I know he will still wait even knowing Eric, who has never been one for relationships, married me and he will still wait. And I will let him.

I felt Eric watching the exchange and his growl. I brushed my hand against his and surprisingly he linked his hand with mine, firmly and openly entwining his fingers with mine. He looked down at me and gave me a brief and open smile.

I could feel whispers and eyes on us. In Erudite we both had very standoff-ish and sometimes volatile reputations. We were considered anti-social. I had heard whispers after he had left that Eric had a reputation with the girls that he was cold and while attractive and they had been willing to be with him. No one had been able to get him beyond a night before me. I felt several glares from girls that had been in Eric's year and even below mine.

Zeke was shooting me looks that looked almost apologetic. It hit me that the fucker knew!

"We will be having a talk Eric." I said in a deadly soft voice.

He nodded stiffly. "Didn't expect we wouldn't Athena." He promised and held my hand tighter.

The ceremony was long and irritating. I was happy to see all my friends join the dauntless section and hugged several of them. Though Uri, Edward and Peter looked very, very reluctant to do so and moved on very quickly.

I was happy as fuck when Drew and Molly didn't pick Dauntless but was amused as shit when Drew picked Amity. Molly stayed in Candor but from the look on her face she hadn't expected that at all. Peter had outright laughed at that choice.

When Christiana from Candor picked Dauntless we all kind of groaned. Chris could be a good Dauntless if she wasn't so damn flighty, nosey and a bitch most times. She hardly prepared at all and only cared about the parties really.

Al from Candor had done well in some physical preparation but when it came to fighting he just could not get it and he let himself get in his own head. Daria, George, Four and I had all had a long talk with him after a bad training session.

I am pretty blunt and brutal and I told him that if he went to Dauntless he was going to wash out or jump into the chasm. I told him physically wise he seemed perfect for Dauntless. He wants to be brave and do good, but that he would never allow himself to be what he would need to be. He was too in his own head and was fighting his own internal nature. He thought because he was strong and brawny that he should go to Dauntless but his mind wouldn't be able to handle it. I had hoped he would listen. We all hoped he would listen. When it came time for him to choose I tensed hard and Eric saw me and frowned. Al had started straight for Dauntless, but at the last minute he went to Amity. His blood fell into the soil and I relaxed and sighed in relief.

Eric had shared a look with me and I promised to tell him later. Before I knew it though it was time to go. Eric had already been pulling me along and we broke out in the run before the others. I couldn't help my smile and laugh as we ran competing against each other. It shouldn't have been even close in a race because he is so much taller than me but I can hold my own. He beat me but really not by much. We also got on the train well before any of the initiates. A few members were there and I could see their curious stares at me but they didn't dare approach Eric who was clearly giving off the air to not do so.

He had me pulled into his side, my chest against his side. I watched the view as it rushed by smiling and exhilarated. I could feel his eyes on me and when I looked up I could see the happiness and smile in his eyes even though his face didn't show it. That was just his nature in public and it was something I understood.

Eric grabbed my hand and moved towards getting us ready to jump and gave me a look that plainly said to prepare myself and don't die.

I smirk at him with a chuckle and he smirks back at me as we take off, hand in hand, to make the jump on the roof. We run off the momentum by a few steps and I see Max and Amar on the opposite side of the roof. Eric leads me over there, Max smirking at me proudly.

"Welcome home Athena. Also congratulations. Daria and I want you two to sit with us at the lunch celebration but that is a few hours off. Eric why don't you take your bride and get her settled. Amar and I will be handling the Initiates until they finish the entrance to the compound." Max said in an amused and affectionate voice to me.

I internally frown but smile and nod to Max. "Thank you Sir. I am happy to be here finally. I will see you at lunch."

Max and Amar chuckle because Eric was already pulling me down the stairs after he gave them a nod and smirk.

"Eric why aren't I going to be jumping with the initiates?" I ask frowning.

He looks down at me as we walk and he sighs. "That would be better answered after I show you where you will be staying and get you changed."

I scowl at him but nod and follow along. We go through a few corridors until we are headed up some stairs and out a big door that leads to what looks like a courtyard of some sort that leads out a gate. The area around us has a path that leads to what looks like stone and wood cabins. Some are back in the woods but we are headed to one that is more forward so not so surrounded by the trees and near a gravel path from somewhere that leads to a garage. It is a two story beautiful stone and log cabin with a wide porch. We get to the door and Eric pulls out a keycard and looks at me with a smile. He swipes the card over the security pad and when it unlocks he opens the door and puts the card up.

I am pretty floored because if this is what I think it is, these are the leader or senior member quarters that are homes not the apartments some prefer. Eric does something else surprising, he scoops me up bridal style and carries me over the door then shuts it with his foot.

I don't look around because right now I am absorbed in his eyes. He is happy and nervous but also pleased as shit with himself. "Welcome home baby." He whispers with a soft smile.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you for the response and reviews. I am not quite sure who I want to pair Tris or Four up with currently. Tris is an almost different person because of her friendships and preparation before hand. She doesn't deny her Dauntless side as much as she did in the books. Four is different too because he has had slightly longer to heal, but he is still Four.**

 **Chapter 6**

 _I am pretty floored because if this is what I think it is, these are the leader or senior member quarters that are homes not the apartments some prefer. Eric does something else surprising, he scoops me up bridal style and carries me over the door then shuts it with his foot._

 _I don't look around because right now I am absorbed in his eyes. He is happy and nervous but also pleased as shit with himself. "Welcome home baby." He whispers with a soft smile._

I sigh and wrap my arms around his neck and bring him to me for a kiss. It starts out soft but soon deepens until he is moving us to somewhere. Then I am being pressed into cushions as he moves to cover my body with his own.

Gasping we break apart only for him to start undressing me slowly. His eyes taking in every inch as he takes his time. When I am undressed he lets me do the same for and with him. I run my hands over his chest, abdomen, his neck, his thighs and everything else as I reveal them. He is and has always been gorgeous but now even more so. He didn't get any more tattoos because he said he was waiting for me.

His growl lets me know he is nearing the end of his restraint in letting me have this time. I pull him to me and claim his mouth before turning the kiss over to him which he gladly takes from me. It becomes passionate and fevered as he slides his hardness against my folds without penetrating me. His mouth moves from my mouth to my nipples as I moan and move my hips helping to let my sex stroke him.

I am wet and ready for him and however pleasurable this may feel it isn't giving me what I and we need. So I tilt my pelvis enough that on the next stroke the head of his cock presses in and we both groan at that.

"Gods you make me so hard Thena. Only you do this to me baby." He whispers with his head against my neck as he slowly pushes into me.

"Nobody ever will Eric…" I pant out " you are mine.." I growl and thrust my hips up to sheathe him in me "..and I am yours baby" I gasp with a smile when he growls and bites on my neck when he is buried deep in me.

"Never baby...no one but you and me…" he groans when he starts to move into me, rolling his hips on his thrusts to meet mine.

His lips move over me from my face to my breasts as we move together. The pace isn't slow or fast but a pulse that goes in time with our hearts. My hands grasp and claw at him and he pulls back to look at me.

I smile wickedly at him when I move him back a bit while he is still moving in me and I move my legs to be on either side of his head. This completely opens me up to him and tilts my pelvis for him.

If his eyes weren't already darkened with desire they are completely blown out now as he groans and sets a fast and hard pace. The feeling of him so deep within me, taking me in OUR home as his wife drives me over the edge and I climax harder than I ever have before.

"Fuck...Eric.." I yell out hoarsely while I grasps his forearms tightly.

Eric pulses into me twice more before he buries his head in my neck and bites down while he releases into me. He is still emptying into me and calling my name.

"Athena…" he whispers softly and sighs against my neck. I can hear something in his voice so we untangle. He sits up on the couch pulling me onto his lap to straddle him. My chest is against his and our eyes hold each other. He closes his eyes and moves his hands to the sides of my face and then opens them again. "I was so worried you wouldn't agree after what I did to you. That was why I didn't tell you. I know I fucked up by leaving you to wonder all that time. But I promise you I was working to make a life for us here."

I take a deep breath and my face scrunches up in thought. I can accept that he was scared, it goes with our insecurities. It is still hard for me to accept he made these decisions on his own knowing what she had done to me.

"Eric…" I start and then stop. "I love you and want to be with you or I wouldn't have let you back in my life. But you know how I feel about being controlled."

He swallows and nods but I can tell in his eyes there is more. "I know. I also know you want me to say I am sorry but you know it would be a lie. I'm not, because I wanted you and I needed to make sure that I had you."

I scowl at that but move on to the next detail. "When did you do the marriage part Eric? How did that all come about anyways?"

He gives an unrepentant smile. "I told you it was a Dauntless marriage and it was Athena. I have known Max and Daria for a long time too. Max and my dad were friends and...well I was the one to help them with getting all of that information on what was going on with Jeanine. I wasn't the only one but I was one of them. They knew about you within the week I met you. I had already started the process that day before my choosing. It was legal in Dauntless but couldn't be finalized until you turned 18 with the other factions."

Realization dawned on me and I glared at him. "The fucking competition and when Zeke had me sign those papers he wouldn't let me see."

Eric holds my eyes with his own, his face wiped of emotion and nods. "We had to let you cross the stage and do that final portion for it to be finalized." He stopped took a breath. "Athena you are also not an initiate. You are a full member and…" I tense because now I know what is coming.

"If you are going to say I am a leader in training Eric you better stop right there." I don't move but my breathing is ragged and I take calming breaths to steady myself. His arms move to my waist and lock in place. "I need your word Eric that you did not sway any kind of decision towards me on that. I know you enough to know that if you could...you would do everything in your power to make the end result come out how you wanted it to."

His eyes flash anger for a moment. "Yes I would have but I didn't need to Athena. You did this all on your own. Whether I made it official you would have already been in the position. All the skill, weapon, knowledge and project prep and testing were all to see who the candidates were and then there were the interviews and interactions. You were observed on patrols that you shadowed, the faction meetings you sat in on. All of it was done as a evaluation. You, Zander, Tris and Edward were all in the top spots for that but you were the choice by a landslide. Yes I chose you every time in the votes and I won't apologize for that because it wasn't just because of what is between us."

My body relaxed slightly and I nodded. "So that night…"

Eric's face loses its mask and he smirks. "Our second wedding night."

I shake my head ruefully at that. "So what happens now?"

Eric leans in and kisses me. "Now we start our lives together Thena. But for the immediate future I am going to take you to our bedroom and get you dressed. Show you around our home and then we have to meet the other leaders at the debriefing for initiation. Then we have the lunch but afterwards I can show you around or we can come back here."

I lean my forehead against his and sigh trying to process it all. I am still a bit pissed but I can understand. "Were you worried once they said my new last name I really would stay there?"

He pulled back and quirked an eyebrow "Are you really trying to tell me that is not exactly what was going on in your mind?"

I grinned wickedly. "No I am not saying that it didn't cross my mind but I wouldn't have done it. I think." I say with a frown.

He snorted and shook his head. "Exactly, you forget Athena I know your fucking temper all too well. I have seen what you are truly capable of and how far you can go. So yeah baby I was worried. I couldn't not take the risk though Thena." His voice at the last was pained and he stroked my cheeks as he whispered it.

I took a breath and then asked a question I hadn't asked before now. "Eric if you knew it was legal why go to those girls? Why couldn't you come to me?" I hated the hurt in my voice and the tears that threatened my eyes.

Eric didn't answer at first. He just crushed his lips to mine before he pulled back, nodded and looked at me. "At first it was just like you said. I hated needing you so bad but hated myself more. I felt like I was being controlled all over again with what they wanted me to do. Then right after initiation I became a Leader. Thena, you know what could have happened if it was found that I was with you physically at that point." His voice broke as he answered, begging me to understand.

I swallowed and nodded. "Any type of physical relationship with a dependent, especially of another faction, could be considered rape and punishable by death at maximum at minimum they would immediately be made factionless."

He nodded seriously. "You have no clue how often I was steps from your apartment Thena. How often I turned the cameras in control to places I knew you would be. If I got near you though Thena, if I had met your eyes I wouldn't have been able to stop myself. The soonest I could was the same day I did." He took my mouth in another kiss and pulled away just barely. "I am not excusing what I did baby. You wanted to know and that is all I have for you."

I wrap my arms around his neck and dig my nails into his shoulders as I breathe out. "As long as you know if you ever touch another woman again Eric, I will kill you and her." I growl out being dead serious.

I can feel his smirk starting before he scowls. "Same goes for you to Thena. I know about Dylan and trust me when I say I barely restrained myself from beating him to death after he was bragging about it in The Pit. I know you didn't go there with him. But kissing was enough to almost send me off the deep end. He still ended up in Erudite Medical for a week." He growled that last part and claimed my mouth again.

We only break apart when his phone buzzes. "Fuck." he growls and then pants against my shoulder. "Later. We need to get you…" he pulls back and looks over my naked self smirking "..well get you into the proper clothes now."

I laugh at his pleased look and nod. He reluctantly lets me at least put my bra and panties back on, since those are black lace he is fine with them. Once he gets dressed he gathers up my old clothes with a look of disgust and takes them to where I assume the trash is before he comes back and takes my hand as he leads me through the home. I get my first good look and it is surprisingly a wonderful combination of the rustic cabin with the stone and wood, but also with tech and industrial all over the place.

I don't get time to take in everything because he leads me up the open staircase from what he says is called the great room up to the upper levels. One side of the home is for the family/guest rooms and an office the other is for the master suite, study and sitting room. He leads me down a hallway that has a big set of french style doors at the end but the doors are made of what fits dauntless and industrial. Distressed wood banded in black steel and rivets with the upper portion a darkened glass so some light filters in but it is almost blood red in color.

I am smiling just at the doors alone and he smiles back at me. "I said I was working to make a home and I really was. Max and Daria suggested one of these. They have one a little ways down from us. I knew as soon as I saw the one with the garage that I had to have it for you. Then I just had to slowly get the place worked on. I knew we both had similar styles so I just tried my best to make it nice for us."

I grinned widely and squeezed his hand. "I love it baby. It is perfect." It was perfect. He opened the doors and I was almost blown away. The master suite was huge. The king size bed was facing into the view of the forest but also you could see the mountains not that far off. There was so much light and the ceilings were vaulted. There was a fireplace in the room with a completely teched out vid screen above it. Book shelves flanked it built it in stone. There were doors on one side leading to a balcony. There was a huge walk in closet but the master bathroom was what he led me too first. There he kept with a combination of the industrial, tech and cabin look. The floors were a stone that was smooth and heated. The walls were painted a soft grey and the counters looked to be some type of concrete with swirls of emerald green. There were vessel sinks in a clear glass. The real show stoppers where the huge glass, stone and tile walk in shower and the huge egg shaped tub with jets and a side spout that would be perfect for soaking. The tile and stone were a mixture of greens and whites with some greys mixed was a huge rain shower head but also a whole bank of jets and nozzles and at one end a stone bench he said was heated too. The bathroom was one of the first things he had done because he knew how much I loved my bathtub.

After letting my take in the bathroom, but not let me take a bath like I wanted to, he had to drag me to the room to get me dressed laughing as he did so.

"Later Thena. I promise we can christen both later when we come back here." He growled and claimed my mouth briefly and led me to the dressers. He had them set up in the huge closet. One for him on one side the other side for me.

My forehead furrowed when I saw that my side already had an almost closet full of clothes. I knew some of them were the ones that got packed because I wasn't wearing blue to any fucking parties I went to, but there shouldn't be that much. "Eric?" I asked looking around.

He chuckled and shrugged "I might have had Shauna and Lauren help with getting most of it. I wanted to make it as easy as possible, but I know you hate shopping. Daria also helped a lot too Thena and she wanted to. She didn't want to leave some of the outfits for the formal dinners we will have to go to for Shauna and Lauren to pick out."

I rolled my eyes and snorted. "Yes because there would have been entirely too much tits and ass if they picked."

He scowled and nodded. "Yeah tell me about it. You should have seen some of the shit they tried to sneak past her. I will admit I picked out a few things."

He smirked when he handed me a black leather jacket that has the dark grey accents on the shoulders and elbows. One just like his, but cut for a female. I smiled widely not bothered at all and looked over the other items. "Eric at the lunch am I being introduced as a leader or just Mrs. Coulter?"

He scratched his neck and looked smug "Both, but there is also a formal celebration planned for Saturday as well. There is a smaller party tomorrow for the initiates but then Saturday we have the thing for us and a few other things."

I frowned in thought but nodded looking over everything. Because I was being introduced I went with what would be the 'everyday' uniform. It wasn't required to wear it, but I was damn sure going to be wearing it if I was going to be seen as a Leader. I picked out the tight almost cargo like black pants, a black v-neck short sleeved t-shirt and then the leather jacket would go over that.

Once I was dressed and had my boots back on, I took stock of the makeup and hair situation in the vanity area of the bathroom. Eric was leaning against the counter watching me. He had smirked proudly when he saw I was going for the uniform rather than a casual outfit.

I briefly did my makeup and kept it simple. With making my eyes a daytime appropriate smoky but making sure to use eyeliner and mascara. Dauntless women had a certain way that they did their eyeliner. It was almost a signature look and stood out from the other factions. I made sure to do that look then and dabbed color on my cheeks and lips. I was going to put my hair back in a braid but Eric stopped me and with a smile untangled the braid it had been in, running his fingers through my hair.

"Leave it down Thena, I have always loved seeing you with you hair like this." His lips brushed against my forehead as he held me to his chest for a moment.

"I love you Eric." I whispered against his chest.

"I love you too Thena." I heard the smile in his voice.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to post a chapter. Hope you are enjoying the story and here is the newest installment!**

 **Chapter 7**

Soon we had to break apart and leave for the meeting room for the debriefing. Zeke would be leaving my tablet phone and other items he collected at Eric's office so we would be stopping to get at least the phone before the debriefing.

The Leaders for Dauntless were currently Max as Senior Leader, Eric as Second in Command, Daria, Harrison who was retiring, and Jerry who would be retiring in a few years.

I would apparently be trained by Eric. Because as he put it, fuck if anyone else was going to be doing that. I would also be shadowing all the leaders at one point. Harrison would be who I would focus on and his side of the leadership duties were right up my alley. He handled the Tech, Inventory, Vehicles and even the Compound needs. Eric explained this to me as we headed to the offices.

I couldn't help but see the looks we got as we walked along. He had me pulled in to his side but we both had the same demeanor we always had. Both of our backs were straight and chins high as we walked and talked. If someone looked funny at either of us we both had our own glares. I am sure that a few of the girls that dared to give me looks or hisses regretted being in that corridor just from the look Eric and I turned on them. I shouldn't and it makes me a horrible person, but I fucking love it.

I am smirking at that thought and Eric squeezes me with a smirk of his own. "You have no idea how good it feels to have you here, Thena." He says quietly to me.

I smile and nod. "I do Eric. I missed you too you know."

He nods and looks at me, showing his own smile in his eyes. He sighs with a scowl forming. "I am not going to like some aspects of this debriefing Thena. Be prepared that I might get pissed off actually. I know I said I didn't mind him…" Eric trails off and clenches his jaw.

I frown and cast my mind for what he might be talking about then it strikes me. "Zander?"

He nods briefly. "He will be forgoing training as will Tris. He will be starting directly under Jerry for his department and move on to leader in training most likely. You two will be shadowing together most likely."

I frown looking up at him. "Eric, I am yours. This is going to be part of the job. But he is also my best friend Eric. He is going to be part of my life."

He blows out a breath and nods. "I don't hate him Thena. I just don't like the thought of him waiting in the wings."

I don't have anything to say to that because a good wife might say that she would stop being friends with that person. I just won't and can't. I know I would never betray Eric but I also can't lose Zander from my life.

I am saved from answering though when we stop in to pick up my phone and with a wink Eric tucks my 9 mm into the hidden holster of my jacket. It will now be one of my official sidearms but I won't get the rest of the equipment until tomorrow sometime.

While we are there Eric checks a few emails and some files. I had gone to lean against his desk, facing him as he sat in his chair while he was doing a few things. My legs were in between his and I accidentally brushed up against his inner thigh when I shifted. All work stopped as he groaned and whipped up and leaned me back on his desk and proceeded to start kissing and sucking on my neck.

I gasped and grabbed his back then pulled his head so that I could claim his mouth. He started pressing his erection into my spread legs as we kissed furiously. He was rubbing against me through our clothes and cupping me through my shirt.

It was amazing and frustrating at the same time. "Eric take me now dammit." I growled into his chest.

He pulled back to do just that and his phone started going off. Both of our growls must have been able to be heard through his closed office door.

"Fucking hell Thena." He snarled as he let his head fall to my shoulder.

"Dammit Eric you started it!" I scowl and shift, uncomfortable now that I knew I wouldn't be getting any relief.

"I will take you on this desk; and soon baby." He mumbled and pulled me back up with a pained smirk.

We leave with him in a bit of a foul mood because of that. I can't say I blame him because he had gotten me just as damn worked up as he had himself.

I looked around the conference room as we entered. Daria and Max had wide smiles as we entered, hand in hand.

"Eric and Athena. Glad you could make it." Max greeted us in an amused voice. "Take a seat and we can get started and also give out introductions."

I saw Zander sitting across the room and there were two empty chairs there. I felt Eric stiffen next to me and he already was seething at the look Zander was sending me. One of actual happiness but then pain at seeing us together.

Eric pulled me along to those chairs but made it a point of putting me in the one not next to Zander. The one he put me in was next to Tris so that was fine with me. Tris gave me a happy but also concerned smile.

Once we were seated Eric pulled my seat even closer to his amid chuckles from around the room.

Max clapped his hands. "Well now that everyone is here let's get started. As everyone is aware Eric was finally able to bring his bride home. As it happens this will be their one year anniversary. I would like to welcome Athena Coulter home and wish them both a Happy Anniversary."

There were confused looks but also congratulations all around. Eric looked slightly smug at all of this while I blushed a bit.

"Next on the list is to welcome our newest members. Athena, Zander, and Tris you all tested high enough within all of the skill testing portions that were not only felt it best to forgo the initiation period. Even the shortened ones that others will be going under. But also you three have been selected for some very important positions. Athena and Zander, you two are now officially Leaders in training. Harrison and Jerry will be retiring soon and we feel you two are the perfect fits for their roles. Athena I am sure Eric told you that you will be focusing on Harrison's position. Zander you will be focusing on Jerry's. Depending on how fast you two pick up on the roles and duties will depend on when you will make full leader. Welcome to Leadership you two and we will be gearing and outfitting you tomorrow. You won't report for duty until Monday." He smiled widely at me and winked then turned to Tris.

"Tris we have a few roles for you, and one of them new. During the testing and the meetings along with interactions with Daria, we have determined we are going to put you in a role to encompass Training and Education. With the changes made to school to allow advanced preparation we were very interested in some of the suggestions that you proposed to incorporate more Dauntless oriented classes within the school system. We also need an ambassador of sorts for the council to be our go between to propose and work with them to accomplish our goals. Daria will be with you on that and the last role is that you will be her Assistant. Eventually you will be moving to Leadership in training as well Tris."

I smiled widely at Tris and side hugged her. She blushed and we all thanked the Leaders for the opportunities.

"I am going to turn this over to Daria and Amar. They will let us know how training is going to work out."

Daria started out with a brief and somewhat glance at Eric. I guess she was preparing for him to not like something and I didn't blame her. He was already shooting glares at Zander. "The training class is large, a larger group than we have had in awhile. At the same time they are going to be broken up by how prepared they are. Amar, Eric and George will be taking care of the initiates that only need a few weeks to brush up on their faction knowledge and to help us place them. Four, myself, Zander, Tris and Athena will be dividing up the remainder and running them through different stages. Athena and Zander will be focusing on the martial mainly. But Athena will be heavily involved in the weapons. Tris and Zander, normally we would be setting you up in housing but this year we are going to be doing something different in dorms. You will each be staying on the floor that is set aside in the dorm building we remodeled for our initiates. These floors will be by gender. After training we will have quarters worked out for you and will most likely start the process during that time. You will have your own rooms though while the others will be sharing."

I had already felt Eric tensing when it was announced he would be working with training but then that I would and with Zander he got even more tense and was squeezing my hand.

After that Amar took over and handed us all out the training schedule and the breakdown of what sections we would be focusing on. My forehead crinkled in concentration as I was reading over the martial section and the breakdown of the factions that I would be in charge of.

Daria noticed my look and smiled. "Did you have a question Athena?"

I looked over to her and tilted my head. "Not a question Daria, but I just…." I frowned as I trailed off a bit and saw Zander smirking over at me.

"She probably wants to remind the instructors that aren't aware of her style that she is a bit…" Zander stifles a laugh and I glare at him and take over.

"Will I be free to use MY methods to get the Amity and Candors that couldn't or wouldn't be bothered to take this time to get prepared into shape?" I blurted out with my face hard and serious. I could do it, but I wouldn't be nice about it.

I heard snickers and Eric feeling a bit pissed that Zander spoke out for me but smug too.

"You were not lying about her being made for him." Jerry eyed me causing Max and Daria to laugh.

Daria nodded with her own smirk. "Amar, George, and I are all aware of your methods and style of teaching. Four has some concerns but he is aware that you have your reasons and have produced fine results. Tris is an example of that as well as several of our advanced training class." Daria looked over at Four who tensed slightly but then looked over at me. He tried and failed to completely hide his smirk.

I shrugged and nodded. "Ok then. I just didn't want anyone busting my balls because I was making someone run suicides on stairs for hours weighted down with a rucksack."

There were more laughs but then we got talking about other things after that. The party on Saturday was a combination welcome new member party, welcome leader party and wedding/anniversary celebration for Eric and I.

It wouldn't be formal but it would be slightly dressy. There would be other faction members for the dinner that would be before it but then a larger faction party afterwards.

The formal meeting broke but we all still sat around and Daria, Tris, Amar and I began talking about an idea Tris and I had 8 months ago.

"Now, what exactly was this idea that you two had and where did it come from?" Daria started out, as Max handed her a cup of coffee. It was more relaxed as we were all waiting to go down to the lunch celebration.

Tris blushed and I smirked shaking my head. "It came from a whiskey fueled rant in my apartment after. " I topped and Tris and I shared a glance. I couldn't really say it was because of Eric with him here. Partial truth it is.

"Well after I had competed in my last competition. Tris was spending the weekend with me and I started out complaining about how it wasn't my fault no one else was at my levels and why should I be the one to be punished. We were both pretty drunk and starting just rambling stuff out. But then we started really analyzing things. We are testing two years early now and allowing for two years of preparation as of this last council meeting approval. Only one of those years has any real core classes. Meaning one year is spent almost completely on their new faction and training or they have duties in the faction of origin."

Tris nods after sipping her tea. "For instance in Abnegation, even though it was known I was leaving, I was still obligated to perform hours upon hours of volunteer work because I had no classes other than my training time that last year. Amity is the same way. So all of those hours that I could have been training more were wasted in my eyes. There was no real benefit to me or the faction."

I scowl at that and how demanding they had been of her almost out of spite. Her parents had tried to mitigate it but they couldn't show favoritism. "I had a thought and ran it by her. Pre-war society had schools that were just for military. They were called academy's. They were run just like the branch of service they were for. The students lived on campus and along with normal classes they did their military preparation. We could have a whole year of training our newest members and tailor it however we wanted. Tris and I thought about the aspect that parents wouldn't want their kids to live away from home before the choosing but if you think about how much we were away this year, it isn't all that different."

I could see the other leaders really contemplating it. Tris went on to the next thought we had. "Also that would allow us to form actual squads during their time here. With Athena and Zander's tech we can see who works well together but also start forming those teams early on. Think of a new group of recruits being put on patrol or security details but already knowing everything they need to know about where they are and who they are working with. It makes us more efficient, more skilled but also gives us better chances if something should happen."

Eric nodded with his head tilted and I could see he was running all the angles in his head. "They have a point. It would open up resources if the training could be spread across that entire year. It would intensify the training for sure and make for better members all around. We wouldn't have to play catch up with those that weren't allowed to do all that they could before coming here."

Daria nodded. "Tris and Athena since it both of your ideas I would like you to start working out the ideas and proposals. You both know how to do the research on that. We have the first few weeks to get through so don't feel pressured to churn this out right away."

Tris and I shared smiles and nods. This was one of those things that we had thought was a stroke of brilliance but in a drunken haze we weren't quite sure. It was also the night I had first seen Eric at a party with a girl. Tris had gotten drunk with me in commiseration and Zander and I hadn't really been as close as we are now.

"Well I think it is time we head down to the lunch celebration. Tris you are free to sit wherever you would like but we would love if you joined our table for it. Zander you of course will be joining us." Max said as he stood and giving us the signal to go down and all of the sudden I had nerves about it all.

Eric wouldn't let go of my side as we walked. Not that I minded but he purposely doing it to keep distance between Zander and I. I almost wanted to punch him for how he was acting but I held it for when we were alone.

It was a madhouse in the dining hall and I loved it. It was such a stark difference to how things in Erudite were run that it was almost putting me on sensory overload. I had experienced parties before for Dauntless but this was something different. The leaders and some senior members led the way up to a balcony to make the announcements first. There were two tables that were strictly for the initiates and I could see a definite separation between them. I looked over the ones with my close friend and was pleased to see they would be at the training that would be over shortly. The other tables my eyes ran over the ones I would most likely be in charge of. I took in everything about them. Right down to what I saw on their plates.

Eric was smirking at me and was still close. Tris and Zander were on one side of me and Max called out for the attention of the dining hall. The rowdiness and banging of cups on the table when we emerged stopped. It went to respectful silence as every head turned to look at us.

"Listen up!" Max's voice booms across the large dining hall, helped by a voice magnification by mic and speakers set up throughout the room. "Today we welcome and embrace our newest brothers and sisters. There have been a lot of changes over the last couple of years. Changes that have been designed to make us a stronger faction. To make us stronger in order to protect our city, our home. Along with those changes was to how we our dependents are able to prepare for their time here. Because of this we are able to build up the strength we need among our new blood. Because of this I am standing here to make the announcement that as of today we have two new Leaders in Training. That is my first announcement. Dauntless! We welcome Zander Banks as a full member and Leader in training and Athena Coulter as a full member and Leader in training."

There is thunderous applause and cheering but there are also several confused faces as they look to me when Max had motioned me forward. With a bit of a smirk he motions everyone to quiet again. "If you didn't hear that correctly at the end Athena Coulter is the wife of our Leader Eric."

Eric had stepped beside me, pressed close and his hand on the small of my back. Both of our backs were straight and chins high. I didn't have quite the same glare as Eric, as if daring anyone to say shit, but I did have my own. It might have been spoiled by my slight blush though.

There was applause and more cheering. Some guys even daring to look me over appreciatively. Lots of girls glaring at me and that did harden my looks. "As many of you know Dauntless believe in deeply in the rite of marriage. I have the pleasure of announcing not only their marriage, but their one year anniversary and to finally welcome Athena home where she belongs. We will be including this among other things for the celebration on Saturday."

There was more cheering but my mind was elsewhere at the moment. When Max had made the announcement I noticed that a handful of the girls had almost looked murderous to him and then to me almost looked smug. It wasn't hard to figure out what that meant. Those were the girls he had been with when we were officially married.

My back went even straighter as I tensed with everything I had. Eric beside me tensed as well and I heard his low growl. His fingers sought mine and for a moment I thought of pulling my hand away. I mainly didn't because it would give others, mainly those bitches, the satisfaction of seeing they had some kind of affect on me. I let his fingers entwine with mine but if my looks had ever been considered deadly they were nothing compared to now.

I locked eyes with each one in turn, slowly looking them up and down and letting it be known I found them sorely fucking lacking. I let it all show that to me there were ants for me to crush underneath my boot. I challenged them even. I won't lie I rejoiced when each one wilted and cowered before my glare.

Tris was announced as a full member and her positions. I pulled my eyes away from the crowd to glance over at her and my lips twitched when I saw not only her but Zander too with looks that had almost matched my own. The thing about having people that are that close to you is that they know you so well that they can pick up on nuances you didn't know you had.

Those two had zeroed in on what I was feeling and who it was directed too and matched my own glares almost on instinct and defence. It was amusing to watch because it only leant to their automatic air of 'don't fuck with me'. We three were young and Tris and I had the disadvantage of being not only female but deceivingly weak looking females in frame. We needed every weapon in our arsenal to make our people not only accept us but take us seriously.

Max made the rest of the announcements about the part for the next day. Welcomed the rest of the initiates and then called the lunch celebration in full swing. After that we were led down to the main floor and to the leader table.

A few brave men and women came up and either clapped me on the back or shook my hands. Some that Eric knew did the same for him but most just clapped or whatnot as we passed. Eric still had his hand linked in mine and a smirk on his lips as he made sure I was sitting next to him and the Daria was on my other side.

Once we were seated Daria winked and gave me a hug. Eric pressed close to me as Zander sat on the opposite side of me. Tris sat beside him with Four on her other side. I couldn't help but notice the looks Four sent her every once in awhile. What wasn't surprising were the looks she sent him back.

Tris had at first been fascinated by Four. Of course we both knew his real name but we were respectful to not push that with him. His surly and closed off nature frustrated the hell out of her though. I think she still felt that way and though he was extremely handsome, it was hard to truly be attracted to someone that did almost everything he could at times to discourage that.

The table was full down the center of different foods, mainly burgers and I smiled at Zander remembering our last dinner at my apartment. He laughed and gave me a smile too. "Too bad they don't have the brownie sundaes though, right Athena?"

I laugh and shrug. "Nah, cake works fine for me. Too bad they don't have Kung Fu Hustle on though. That would be pretty freaking awesome. And a beer that would almost make it exactly the same."

I start to make up my burger and feel Eric tense again when Zander keeps handing me things that he knows I like on mine. I sigh and turn to face Eric. Our eyes lock and I let him know I am still pissed in general but after the balcony and seeing those girls. He has no fucking room to be pissed right now.

"Fine we'll talk later Thena." He promises with a growl.

"Oh you better believe we will be Eric." I promise with my own. Turning from each other we start back to eating. We do press closer together though, knowing it is going to be a tense night.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry it has taken a bit to post another chapter. Have been working on a few stories and then holiday prep. Plus I am working on a thesis paper and that is always fun especially when it is about the Roman and Gaul empires. Anywho..hope everyone enjoys. This chapter has a bit of everything. Some sappy romance, angst and smut. All the good stuff.**

 **Chapter 8**

I don't pull away when he pulls me to him as we walk back to our place. We do walk in silence but I am running through what needs to be said. I had promised Tris she could come over and get ready. I had some of her clothes anyways because they had been in my closet for when we would get ready to go out. She still needed to get some shopping done and get settled though before the party.

I wanted to invite Zander and almost did regardless of what was going on with Eric and I right now. I refrained though and told him I would see him tonight.

Eric hadn't given me my keycard yet and I wondered if that was on purpose. I waited for him to open then door and then I moved past him and went to the kitchen. Surely somewhere in that huge area there had to be a beer or whiskey. I was pretty stunned at the size of it. It was a complete professional kitchen and I noticed the high end small appliances I had packed were all unpacked and put into place in a way that it all made sense and where I would put them.

I shook my head and went to the huge refrigerators and pulled open a door. I found my prize and pulled out a bottle for myself and when I saw him hovering near I pulled one out for him too. I almost shoved it into his hands and moved away as I found a drawer with a bottle opener and popped it open.

I heard his sigh as I kept walking and went to the living room and plopped onto the sectional. He made his way in with a scowl and headed straight for me but I put up a had. "Stop. You can take a seat but give me room Eric." I growled out still fuming.

"No. I will not. We are going to talk and I am fucking sitting by you Thena." He huffed and plopped down beside me. He was smart enough to do nothing more than be pressed slightly into my side.

We both tipped back our beers but didn't say anything for several minutes. I was waiting for him to break first and come at me with what he thought were his justifiable reasons for being pissed about my friendship with Zander.

His growl let me know he was losing patience in trying to wait for me to do the same. "Gods dammit Thena what do you want me to say? I already said I was sorry about them. I thought we were over that shit."

I scoffed and looked at him incredulously. "You thought I would just so easily get over the fact that not only were you sleeping with anything that moved Eric? You were doing it when you KNEW we were legally married. I didn't even know we were legally married and I couldn't bring myself to do anything more than kiss one person and all because at least in my mind and heart, Eric...I was married to you. How do I just move past that shit in an hour or two? How do I move past being up on that balcony and having to see them? How do I move past seeing their looks of smugness as they gloated that you fucked them while you were married to me? I will have to see those girls now in corridors, in the dining hall. As a fucking leader I will probably have to deal with them often. I will always have to wonder Eric. I will always worry especially those times when we are both so busy we won't be able to sleep. When I go out on meetings or patrols that might take a week or two. I will worry that you might find the need for some release. I waited Eric! I might not have been admitting it to myself even then but I was waiting until I got here. Until I could be here and know it was over. I waited for you. Why couldn't you Eric?"

I stop and clench the bottle in my hand tightly. My eyes are on fire with hurt and unshed tears.

"I can't excuse what I did Athena. I have already said that. But we have to try somehow to get past this. Tell me how we can get past this?" He stared off at some spot on the wall in front of us, his forehead furrowed. His tone wasn't quite begging but very close.

My jaw clenched and I shrugged. "I don't have an answer for you Eric. I guess just keep being honest with each other. It won't go away overnight, that hurt. The anger I am feeling at being hurt and that someone was able to do that to me is almost as bad right now. Not only that Eric, but you want to sit in judgment of me and my relationship with Zander and you have no room to. I never screwed him or even thought about screwing him. And believe me there were plenty of times it could have happened. How many parties were we pressed close together dancing and drunk and nothing happened? Too many to count. He was there as a friend. And yes I can admit I love him. I also love Tris, Zeke, Uri, Shauna, Lynn. Do you get the picture here?"

He turns a glare on me. "The difference between me and those bitches was I never caught feelings for them. I used them and it never went beyond a night, hell Athena not even beyond an hour or two. I didn't sleep with them, cuddle with them or try and connect with them. I never showed them who I am, that has only ever been you. Yes I may have fucked them Thena but you also cheated in a way too. Yeah you love him but it isn't just as friends alone. If I hadn't….." His jaw clenches and he slams his beer back before his puts the bottle down and I can tell his ability to not touch me has snapped. He rips my bottle from me and pulls me to and under him.

"You would have ended up with him. Admit it Thena." He growled as he hovered over me.

I frowned and shrugged. "Honestly? Probably not. I thought about it hard. Especially when you pointed out his feelings for me. Yes, I didn't want to and still don't want to lose him. I can admit I am selfish bitch for that. It would never be like that for me with him though."

His eyes showed pain. The pain he felt for hurting me and the pain I was causing him for loving another man even if it wasn't and could never be the same way I loved him. "I can't and won't lose you Athena. I will kill him if he ever tries anything besides being a friend. If he even hints at it…"

"Eric" I sigh frowning. Hating I am causing him pain but still not going to give in to shutting out a friend that had done nothing but be there for me. "He won't but even if he does try or hint at it I still wouldn't. Even if you walked away from me right now I wouldn't."

"You better not Thena." He growled and crashed his lips to mine until he pulled back after a while when we started to strain against each other and sat up completely. "Not here. I want you in our bed." He whipped me up and carried me to our room. Luckily the doors were still open or I think he would just kicked the shit down rather than put me down.

He tossed me onto the bed and followed me after his mouth meeting mine again roughly.

Our joining after he got us stripped was filled with pain and anger. It wasn't nice or sweet. My pants are barely off before he is plunging into me and thrusting as I keep pulling our shirts off of us, gasping the entire time. When we are completely naked he pulls out and flips me over to my hands and knees.

He doesn't go straight back to thrusting in me though, he eases in and pulls me back so that I am against his chest. One hand snakes up between my breasts to stroke my neck as the other moves to pinch and rub my clit.

He takes me to the edge all while keeping still buried inside me. Just as he is trying to tease and torture me I do the same thing to him as I work my muscles over him causing him to groan along with my moans.

When I am right at the tipping point he starts to thrust into me again and this time instead of stroking my neck he grips it. Not choking me or being cruel. His hand rests right over my pulse point. Where he can feel every beat of my heart against his hand and know that he is causing my heart to feel that way. A reassurance that my heart beats for him and him only. He told me that once and it was as close to poetic as he would ever be.

Just by doing that simple gesture, one of pure love on our level, sets me off and I climax hard.

"Eric." I almost sob out.

With a last thrust into me he releases and buries himself inside me so deep I think I can feel it break through into my womb. His head drops to my shoulder, his eyes rubbing against it as he calls my name and I can feel wetness.

We don't speak as we stay on the bed on our knees like that. Gripping each other and neither admitting the even small amount of tears we just shed but knowing we have...and for each other. Something we would never do for anyone else.

We finally do end up laying down together on the bed as my head and body end up draped over his. My ear is pressed to his heart and I listen to it with my eyes closed. I sigh and place a soft kiss to that spot. "I love you Eric. I want and need to make this work."

With a sigh he pulls me up so that our faces are almost level and he holds my eyes with his own. "I love you too Athena. I am not losing you. There is no other option for me. It is and always will be you."

I nod as we lean in to kiss each other deeply before he pulls back with a sigh and nuzzling my neck. "What did you want to do before the party?" I ask quietly.

His smirks slightly and quirks an eyebrow. "Staying home and in bed sounds nice, or the bath, shower...kitchen. Whatever surface we can find. That sounds good."

I laugh and shake my head. "How about you show me around our house and we can decide from there if the mood strikes us?"

"I am always in the mood around you Thena. But I guess it would be good to show the queen her castle." He sighed playfully before pulling me in for another passionate kiss.

We broke away after a bit when the kiss turned more like we were reassuring each other we were going to be ok. I still hurt and I was still a bit angry that I could be hurt. But talking about it helped. Because before then I hadn't wanted to when I was still so unsure where we really stood. Part of my hurt, I realize, is coming from the fact that now I will always compare myself to those girls and wonder if I am truly good enough or even enough for Eric. I had those feelings before all this happened and I will have them even more now.

As I am laying there looking into Eric's eyes I realize something. Eric feels the same way, just about Zander. With that thought my hurt and anger melt just a bit more.

I can tell when we both reach those same conclusions because it shows in our eyes and our little sighs of relief. With a slow smile Eric pulls me closer to him knowing he will get his way at least for right now. "Bathtub." He pronounces with a smirk just before he crashes his lips to mine the same time as he is lifting me up out of bed.

We end up christening the bathroom counter before we can get the tub full and then again when the tub is done. We didn't bother getting fully dressed after we had soaked in the tub and scrubbed each others backs and other body parts. I threw on a robe and Eric pulled on some boxers and he showed me to our study, the office and guest rooms and then with a wicked grin he took me to what he knew would make me happy.

My garage. It was a three bay garage that he had taken my designs I had on a draft board that I had labeled 'dream board' and done a damn good job of recreating it. It even had a my damn overhead vehicle lift.

My eyes were a bit moony and dreamy as I walked around it and ran my hand along the metal posts that composed the lift causing Eric to laugh at me.

"It had to be modified slightly but we are lucky that the ceilings in the garage are vaulted like the main house. We had to remove the portion of the upstairs storage office area that was here previously to put it in. But it will support up to 10,000 lbs and I am told will allow you total access to all aspects of the underside of the vehicles you will be working on. Your plans for your lift didn't call for that but Harrison actually suggested it because you might have projects later on that you would like the ability to have it for." He was proud of what he had done but he was also showing me that he wants to do everything he can to make me happy and show support of my own goals.

I sigh happily with a big smile. "I love it baby. It is perfect. Who helped you with the peg board setup for the tools?" I was looking over an almost entire wall of tools that I had but also more tools that had been on that dream board list. I was practically salivating at this point.

Eric came behind me and slipped his arms around my waist. "Do you know how fucking sexy you are when you get all hot and bothered about this shit? I can practically see the heat coming off of you. You are so turned on by this right now."

He wasn't lying. I was completely turned on by the level of attention he had paid to my needs and wants here and just by the site of all those pretty shiny toys. I get a thought about something and I turn into him then pull him to me for a kiss. I pour my entire passion to it and then pull back with a wicked grin.

He is left growling with a furrowed forehead as he watches me move to a big bank of drawers. I search the labels and find the ones I need with a smile. I open it quickly pull out what I am looking for and with the wicked grin turn back to him.

He groans at the look on my face. "Baby…" He moans a bit.

I don't speak as I walk to the stairs that lead to the upstairs part of the garage. This is where he put the sectional from my apartment along with the workout equipment and entertainment equipment I had. I look over my shoulder at him as I go up the stairs. He gets the hint and follows me quickly, making me practically run up the stairs laughing.

He catches up to me and spins me around to face him "What are you planning Thena?" His voice is thick with desire and impatience.

I shrug, my grin still a bit wicked. "You have a choice to make first."

"What am I choosing?" He growls.

"Who goes first." I purr to him and he groans as his breathing picks up. Then he pulls back and grins at me wickedly.

"Ok then, I go first."

"Are you sure baby?" I whisper as I run a finger down his neck into his chest.

He nods and swallows "Abso-fucking-lutely."

My smile gets wider and I nod. "Ok then you asked for it."

Taking his hand I lead him over to the couch and push him down on it. I straddle him and start to kiss him passionately as I take his hands and and grip each one in one of mine and slowly raise them to be on either side of his head and then bring them together. I am grinding against him while I do this to distract him so when I end up slipping the zip-tie around his wrists he doesn't even know it happened.

When I tighten it though he gets wise and growls into my mouth. I pull away panting and see his eyes are blown out. "You tricked me." he growled.

I give a bit of a wicked chuckle and shake my head. "No. I asked who should go first. I just left off the go first in being zip-tied part. But wait that isn't all."

Before he can move I am already up and moving. Zip-ties are fun but he can still move those hands and I need him with no control in this. I had also grabbed an elastic strap used to secure gear or luggage onto the two seater or even my bikes. I attach one hoop to the zip-tie and then the other I hook to the back of the couch on the underside edge.

Eric is already panting and growling about it not being fair.

"Alls fair in love and war baby." I purr as I come back to be in front of him. I make sure he is comfortable at least while I also pull down his boxers. He is hard, extremely hard. And I love it and having him like this.

Once his boxers are down I drop my robe and stand there for a moment letting him take it all in because I know that is what he wants. I give him that but then with a smile I lower to my knees and start to take what I want. To tease and torture him while I kiss, bite and suck in all the spots that I know set him off and usually make him grab me before he takes me.

His growl almost echos through the garage and makes me smirk against his inner thigh before I look up into his eyes and lightly run my tongue up the length of him.

His head falls back and he hisses. "Fuck...baby.."

I am unbelievably turned on by this. By having him with no control. But I also know if he wanted to he could at least get out of the luggage strap to be able to grab me.

He doesn't though, so I am taking it but he is also giving me control too. This thought drives me to start to take the length of him into my mouth as I swirl my tongue around him and work my hands up and down his shaft and cupping his balls. I have never been able to get him all of the way in my mouth but something about the position he is in, the boldness I am showing and how turned on I am has me able to relax my throat and before I know it he is hitting the back of it.

"Holy fuck Thena!" He growls and that causes me to hum in delight and approval. It vibrates down his length and has him panting and his balls tightening. "Fuck...baby I'm…" He doesn't get anything else out as he explodes.

I have had him release in my mouth before but this explosion and at the back of my throat is a new experience for me and I can't explain why but I find myself climaxing and moaning while he is still unloading himself.

Trembling slightly after he and I both finish I lick my way up and release him from my mouth. "Thena that was fucking amazing. Baby...gods damn.."

I blush and smile as I raise up to stand on shaky legs. "It was...can't believe I came from that…"

His nostrils flared and his eyes took on a dangerous look. "Ok you've had your fun and I have been a good little boy." He growled out making me shiver at the danger in his voice.

And like I thought he was suddenly free of the luggage strap. His hands were still zip-tied but that meant shit when it comes to Eric. Suddenly he was on his feet and I was inside a steel cage of his arms before those arms were down and at my ass. Then I was being lifted enough to align and be impaled on him.

"Shit.." I cry out and grasp him at the force of his thrust and then just gravity helping it along.

His smirk as he locks eyes with me and then starts to move in me, with my legs propped up over his arms….it tears moans and screams from me that sound purely animalistic.

"Does that feel good Thena?" He demands in a growl, each word punctuated by a thrust.

"Fuck yes Eric...baby don't stop…" I feel myself right there at the edge as my nails dig into his shoulders and neck as I am literally holding on to him for dear life.

"Now Thena...give me it now." He commands in a growl so deep I feel it resonate deep in me.

His last thrust does it and I can't even make a sound I climax so hard. It is so forceful and I clamp down so hard on him, the restraint he was trying to use to not cum again so soon shatters and he is emptying into me again.

"Gods damn." He pants as he falls back on the couch with me still wrapped around him.

It takes us a moment to be able to breathe properly and when we do I move off of him to be beside him on the couch. We are left laughing a little as we still pant.

Turning to me he nuzzles my jaw until I turn my head for the kiss he wants. This kiss is slow and gentle before he sighs and pulls back. "I love you so fucking much, you know that?"

I smirk at him "I love you more. Did you enjoy that baby?"

He quirked an eyebrow at me in his 'are you serious' look. "Fuck yeah I did Thena. It was amazing and now I am wondering what else we can come up with to do in our garage."

I laugh and shake my head, look down at his hands that are still zip-tied and look around. "Be right back baby."

I get up and move over to the shelf with my throwing knives, chinese stars and various other projectile objects. I pick up a knife and move over to him, straddle him as he holds up his wrists and cut the tie for him. When it is free I aim at the target board behind us and throw, smiling when it thuds into place.

I feel him twitch and harden beneath me as he groans. "Jesus that is fucking hot…" he mumbles before he grabs my hips and guides me to slide against him.

"Eric" I moan as he slowly drags against my slit. "We're never going to make the party at this rate"

He is kissing along my collarbone and I feel his smirk against my skin. "And that would be such a fucking loss because…"

I sigh as my hips rock faster. "Because our friends and we are leaders and have to appear at least…" I moan regretfully.

His answer is to tighten his grip on my hips and make me take him inside of me before claiming my mouth. My arms circle his shoulders as I rock my hips back and forth but also in circles. His hands move to tangle in my hair as he breaks from the kiss and begins to bite, soothe and lick along my neck, jaw, shoulders and breasts.

I am panting and moaning "I love the way you make me feel baby…" I gasp as he nips and licks at a nipple.

He hums around my nipple before pulling back and moving my head to look into my eyes. "I love it too baby. You were made for me Thena. In every way baby."

Our pace picks up until he flips us over and then he is between my legs and pushing into me, holding my legs out to the sides as he leans in to kiss me and thrust hard and deep.

He doesn't need to ask for it from me or for me to ask for it from him as we give each other our release at the same time. No battle of wills this time just giving each other our all.


	9. Chapter 9

Just to let everyone know I am moving these stories to my main account. They will be reposted under the same titles and I will be deleting the account these are on at some point. My main account had gotten locked out at some point. Keeping track of two accounts is kind of ridiculous. So if you would like you can find these stories to continue them under my other user Lunaschild2016

~lunaschild2016


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